Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

First published July 8, 2019

Amber Toussaint asks:
Professor Popinjay,
Do you believe in Bigfoot?

Chère Madame Toussaint,
——As it is not my usual practice to answer personal questions in this forum I must assume you’re asking if ONE [should] believe in Bigfoot. A just question perhaps. He clearly doesn’t believe in us. Why else would he hide? Conversely though, perhaps he hides because so few believe in him.
——One of my favorite stories, “El Ingenioso Hidalgo Don Quijote de la Mancha” by Miguel de Cervantes, centers around a nobleman who in his old age assumes the persona of Don Quixote, a lumbering hair-covered giant with enormous feet. Just kidding. Don Quixote was a chivalrous and valiant Knight, but the other way would have been more convenient for the purpose of this article. Oh well, we can’t have all the luck.
——-Some say Quixote was delusional. Others say he was seeking escape from a pampered mundane lifestyle surrounded only by greedy relatives who were hoping he’d soon venture aimlessly into the woods and meet an untimely demise at the hands of Bigfoot. My take away, however, was this: Quixote projected his beliefs onto those around him. A harlot who gave herself little value, Quixote regarded as his “Dulcinea” (his “sweet one”) and respected her as a lady. A simple farmer he regarded as his most trusted squire and friend despite the difference in their social status. Also, some nearby windmills he regarded as giant lumbering beasts. Were they hair-covered forest-dwellers with huge feet? I don’t know. That’s besides the point. You’re not paying attention. Listen! The value and reputation which Don Quixote placed on these two began to rub off (despite neither of them being Bigfoot who is infamous for rubbing on things), and they soon started to value themselves and live up to the high esteem he gave them.
——-Permit me to adapt a quote from Dale Carnegie’s famous book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” the methods of which, you may agree, can easily be applied to Bigfoot with only a few subtle changes:
——-“Give [Bigfoot] a fine reputation to live up to, and he will make every effort to live up to that reputation rather than see you disillusioned. This is the most powerful way to influence the conduct of [Bigfoot] without arousing resentment or [inspiring him to uproot a tree and kill you with it].”
—–Logic dictates that we see proof before we choose to believe in Bigfoot but I’m afraid not everything works that way. There are some things you must first choose to believe, even despite evidence to the contrary, and only then will you see the truth. Some may argue that we see only what we prepare ourselves to see; such as when we have a hammer in our hand and suddenly everything looks like a nail. But I am reminded of another story about Thomas Edison who had in his employ a young man who may or may not have been a sasquatch, you don’t know. As the story goes, when the first long-lasting incandescent bulb was made, it was handed to this furry young man with instruction to store it upstairs. Possibly because of large clumsy feet, the lad tripped and dropped the delicate glass bulb, shattering it. Did ol’ Tommy E. call the kid a gibfaced flapdoodle and send him back to the deep woods in shame? Perhaps. Edison could be a surly cuss sometimes. But eventually Tom A. Ed-meister RE-invented the light bulb and when it came time to take it upstairs, who did he give it to? That’s right. He handed the precious parcel to this hairy oaf once again. Despite this diminutive fuzz-ball having proven himself an uncoordinated dummard, Edison trusted that he would not make the same grievous mistake twice and that trust changed a person.
——I don’t know the circumstances of Bigfoot’s reclusiveness. Perhaps a zealous hunter chased him into obscurity and he understandably swore off the human race. Perhaps he was frightened by some giant windmills. Or perhaps Thomas Edison used one too many antiquated insults. It doesn’t matter. One should believe in Bigfoot because he deserves it. I believe he’s a kind and gentle giant who needs love and trust like the rest of us and maybe, just maybe, if we all choose to believe in him, he’ll realize he can happily enter a local barber shop or a men’s big and tall store, and no one would bat an eye. Frankly, I think he’d fit right in with us, whether he finds a pair of pants that fit him or not.

Bien à vous, Le Professeur Popinjay