Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

First published May 12, 2019

1: Live under the sea.

2: Strap a twenty gallon water bottle to your back and sip on it throughout the day.

3: Fill your pockets with moist sponges.

4: Don’t get UN-hydrated! Duh!

5: Trade your car for a dolphin.

6: Steal other people’s hydration when they’re not looking.

7: Drink plenty of water buffalo milk.

8: Sleep with a wet dog.

9: Stick a straw in a cactus and go nuts.

10: Live in Oregon and look up with your mouth open.

Special thanks to Brian Pavey, Adria Moore, Michelle Wertherson, Marc Gleason, and Andrew Tallent for their contributions to this list.