Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

First Published September 21, 2017
By Popinjay
Suggested by James Earl Crumpton

I fancy ample sterns and I spin no tale
Me hearties won’t set sail
Until a wench makes port with a purdy sturdy trunk
And a full moon in their bunk
All hands on deck! Ramming speed!
Spy the cushions that backside need?
Tain’t no bustle she wearing
Cap’n Hook gotta spyglass staring
Ahoy Mateys! Call me “cavorter”
for that hindquarter!
Me hearties did belay me
But when they spied the backside they (didn’t blame me)
Ooh, Grace O’Malley
Ye say ye want to get in me galley?
Well serve… an hors d’oeuvre,
And any else you’ve in reserve!
I’ve seen yer larboard
Don’t need yer starboard
Let’s wrestle and nestle
Get it going like a topsail vessel
She be smugglin’ two globes
No flat Earth in them robes
Take the average lubber and show him that
He fancies ’em fat!
So, maties (Ho!) Maties (Ho!)
Has your plunder got some under? (Yo Ho!)
Tell em to sail it (Sail it) Sail it (Sail it)
Sail that hefty hull
Pirate got booty!