Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

First published March 21, 2020

10: Hey baby, that inflated hazmat suit really accentuates your bulbousness!

09: Oo, girl, down for some hot Skyping?

08: Hey there handsome, want to come over and sterilize each other?

07: Hi sexy! If you poop at my place I’ll hose you down afterward!

06: Care to join me for Top Ramen and hand sanitizer?

05: Hey sexy, of the two people quarantined here, you are definitely not me!

04: Wanna come to my place? I have high-yielding livestock.

03: I’ve tested positive for the love virus and I’m guessing you’ve not been vaccinated.

02: I may have been in quarantine for two months and you may just be a coat rack but you are lookin’ fine!

01: Remember that crazy guy who built a wall around his house and filled it with fire arms and supplies? What do you think of me now?