Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

10: When the Eye isn’t looking, paint the Black Gate chartreuse.

9: Smack Shelob with a fly swatter then run away.

8: Watch the Mouth of Sauron eat a bag of Oreos.

7: Replace the Witch King of Angmar’s mace with a vibrating feather duster.

6: Put isopropyl alcohol into the Eye of Sauron’s contact solution.

5: Spork an orc.

4: Shuffleboard… of DOOM!

3: Play “I Spy” with the Eye.

2: Try to find Sauron’s “other” parts.

1: Ring toss.