Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

A Non-Review by Prof. Popinjay

With a title like “The Man Who Killed Hitler and then the Bigfoot” you’d think I’d know what to expect. Frankly I was clueless. They don’t title movies this way anymore. I mean there’s movies like “Sharknado” which is kind of a self explanatory title. But this movie stars Sam “I live right across the street and you can borrow my tools anytime you want so long as you return them in a timely manner” Elliot! He doesn’t star in b-grade horror as this title insinuates! The title has to be a metaphor! It’s like “The English Man who Went Up a Hill and Came Down a Moutain”. That movie was immensely disappointing. No hills. No mountains. And the only even remotely Englishman in it was HUGH GRANT! I assume this is the case anyway. I never actually saw that one because I’m a heterosexual man devoid of any feminine qualities aside from my underwear and propensity to cry during Hugh Grant movies which is the real reason I avoid them except on Thursday when I also eat a gallon of ice cream. But this movie wasn’t going to be a tear jerker! Ha ha ha! Bring it on Sam Elliot, you Hitler-killing Big Foot-Killing son-of-a-gun! I don’t want to spoil it for you but as the title implies, he kills Hitler and he kills the Big Foot. No metaphors here! You get precisely what you pay for… and so much more. As the film progresses you get flashback after flashback that unravels a past rich with emotion and love. You begin to care about this very human man and he makes YOU care about the lives he’s taken, even the one’s who had it coming. He cries! Sam Elliot cries and I cried! I cried like a sensitive overweight man with a half-eaten bucket of ice cream at a Hugh Grant marathon! This is not merely a b-movie monster movie plot (and don’t get me wrong, because that’s precisely what it is) but it’s that wrapped around a compelling love story starring Sam Freaking Elliot!!!! I didn’t know what to expect. I’ve seen it and I can’t tell you what it was! But I loved it! This title captivated the nerd culture but this is a film I would recommend to my mother! Although p.s. the Big Foot (or Big Foot as we call him in the Pacific Northwest) was horrific and a bit disgusting. Just letting you know Incase you ACTUALLY do recommend this film to your mom.