By Professor Popinjay
10 :Intestinal parasites!
09: Surround yourself with harpies!
08: Holographic meatloaf!
07: Play Candy Crush for a month! Hire a spotter to make sure you hydrate every couple of days.
06: Compete on Survivor.
05: Inject crisco directly into your veins. (Note: WILL result in immediate death.)
04: Drink only Tijuana water.
03: Vacation in Burma.
02: Excorise and Eat rite.
01: Screw it! Just keep the weight!
Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity 
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