Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

By Popinjay, Inspired by Brian Pavey

10:

GOOD GIFT:: A mug that reads “#1 Dad.”

BAD GIFT:  A mug that reads “World’s Worst Great Great Grandma.”

09:

GOOD: Lincoln Logs.

BAD: Lincoln Cacti.

08:

GOOD: An Erector Set.

BAD: An Erectile Dysfunction set.

07: 

GOOD: A nerf gun and foam darts.

BAD: A Red Ryder BB gun and an eye patch.

06:

GOOD: An ugly Christmas sweater.

BAD: A turtleneck sweater for a person without a neck.

05:

GOOD: Flannel pajamas.

BAD: Flammable Pajamas… currently on fire.

04:

GOOD: A crisp stack of $20.00 bills.

BAD: A crumpled wad of $1.00 bills… currently on fire.

03:

GOOD: A happy barking puppy that’s always thrilled to see you.

BAD: A squawking parrot that accuses everyone of vile acts of debauchery and ill intent. Okay not going to lie, this might be fun too.

02: 

GOOD: A gift card for a popular clothing store.

BAD: A coupon for free psychotherapy.

01:

GOOD: An advent calendar.

BAD: Twelve rummies running, eleven poopers pooping, ten loud ladies,
Nine lardy lemmings, eight moody maidens, seven Swinging salamis, Six geezers slayin’, five Unidentifiable things! Four flippin’ birds, three Henchmen, Two dirty tubs and Donny Osmond stuck in a treeeeeeeee!