Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

A Non-Review by Prof Popinjay

Winston Smith has a problem. He wants to pork like a penguin with a pompadour. Problem is he lives in a dystopian future where “Big Brother” has cameras everywhere and frankly he’d prefer a bit of privacy. I don’t remember why Big Brother is so opposed to anybody bumping uglies but if he sees anybody doing it he gets super pissed. So this is mainly about Winston trying to find secret places to hide the salami.

I liked Animal Farm better. It had talking animals! 1984 had rats, I guess. They didn’t talk much. They just bit Winston’s face. He didn’t care for that.

I was two years old in 1984. I don’t really remember this dystopian big brother government and people sneaking around trying to engage in snu-snu but like I said, I was two. The only thing I remember from being two is getting grass stains on my suit pants on Easter morning. I remember a commercial for the Olympics where a lady ran into a theater and threw a sledge hammer at a movie screen. Waste of a good movie screen if you ask me.

I know this story has all manner of symbolism and importance both sociologically and politically. I’m sure it was well executed and well acted. I just found it super boring. Like, I get it. You want to screw but everyone is watching you. Story of my life. Now you got rats on your face. Boo-hoo.

Ironic that John Hurt (Winston) would one day play Adam Sutler (basically Big Brother himself) in the film V for Vendetta. Now there’s a dystopian future movie with some Chutzpah!