Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

A Non-Review by Prof. Popinjay

     Did Mulan need a sequel? Did it merit a sequel? Did anyone want a sequel? Well, when Disney realized they made more money on dvd sales than theatrical releases, they decided the answer for all three questions was “Shut up and give us your money!”

    Let’s not focus on the glaring cultural omissions that would likely have resulted in the title character’s public execution for her actions in the first film. Her actions in the second film would be tantamount to the backstory of a cursed Chinese villain, the one whose tomb you do NOT under any circumstances want to break open lest you unleash a terrible scourge upon the earth. Were this the premise for Mulan 3, I might’ve been more forgiving of this film.

      But what was the premise? Mulan is a champion for breaking the glass ceiling, right? By masquerading as a man? Hmmmm. Not sure that does anything for women’s equality. Sure, it proves she’s more than capable, exceptional in many cases in fact. Such is the testament to her character regardless of her gender but if it helps quell some presumptions about woman-kind, good for her! Now she must do it without pretending to be a man. Or must she do it while wearing whatever she wants? Or… No body cares! More importantly, the five year-olds who were temporarily pacified by this film didn’t care. And Disney knows this. It’s why they can feverishly crank out these straight-to-dvd sequels knowing parents will relinquish their foldin’ money despite the writing being sub par and the message being convoluted, misguided, and ultimately completely missing the mark. Is there a long-winded disclaimer at the beginning of THIS film on Disney+ explaining it contains archaic ideas? No. Did Disney require the writers to include the phrase “I have a duty to my heart.” at least 500 times in this film? You bet your lucky cat! What they should have instead is a long-winded disclaimer as to how pandering and stupid this tripe is.

Strangely, despite all their championing, Disney goes and recasts Eddie Murphy’s Mushu with Mark Moseley, possibly the whitest actor on the planet (still doing Eddie Murphy’s vocal stylings I might add.) I know dragons don’t necessarily adhere to a specific race per sé and finding an actual dragon to provide a voice for a cartoon dragon is nigh impossible. But having a white guy do Eddie Murphy’s voice is as offensive as having Jon Luvits play Othello.

     And who was the intended audience for this barrage of ocular penetrations? If you really want to know, simply listen to the end-credits song and ask yourself to whom it would appeal in 2004? I leave it to your own deliberations.