Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

A non-review by Prof. Popinjay

     So I only watched the first three episodes because that’s all that came on the unmarked vhs tape I found in the abandoned well beneath the floorboards of a strange motel.

     You know what? I liked it. Considering who it was made for, it wasn’t bad. They clearly poured a lot of money into the titles and the character transformations; a common practice of cartoons since ThunderCats. Do I want to watch those opening credits and transformations 19 more times? I mean, if it falls into my lap I might. But I probably won’t go to searching for any more abandoned wells.

     The show first aired on a channel I didn’t have in a time slot during which I was not usually conscious as a kid.  My only experience with Mummies Alive! prior to this viewing was the Macy’s Thanksgiving day parade float built out of desperation to promote this show. It failed.

     The humor seemed pretty self aware which I appreciated. They went to some length to legitimize some of the cornier aspects of the show such as their catch phrase “Let’s kick Tut.” It’s terrible. And in episode 1 they draw attention to the fact that it’s terrible and that makes the fact that the Mummy heroes say it before every fight for the next 22 episodes okay.

      One joke did get a hearty guffaw out of me. The hungrier of the bunch asks “What is the significance of the sacrificial bird contained within the white stone sarcophagus?” To which the modern day reincarnation of prince Cantremember says “White stone sarcophagus? Sacrificial bird? That’s just leftovers.” The mummy responds “I have consumed the sacrificial bird.” Classic mummy line right there.

I also thought it was funny when the boy pointed out that one of the mummies was a female and the other mummies where astonished that he knew as he was just a boy and shouldn’t be able to detect such things. WHAT!?! Okay, were ancient Egyptian children incapable of differentiating men from women back then? They let on that she was trying to hide the fact that she was a woman as women were not allowed to be fighters or guards or whatever. I cross referenced this information on some stone tablets I found in a tomb I was spelunking in and it checks out. Also, some mummies were resurrected while I read so better watch the news I guess.

I don’t know. As I explain it the show is starting to grow on me. Maybe I WILL start pulling up the floorboards in strange motels more often.

P.S.-Retroactive research has revealed the Thanksgiving Day parade float I was thinking of was actually for a different Egyptian mummy show nobody watched called Tutenstein. Now I’m curious.