Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

By Professor Popinjay

10.) Pinch people you’ve decided are wearing the wrong shade of green.

9.) Insist leprechauns live in leper colonies.

8.) Go into an Irish pub and refer to Guinness Stout as “beer”.

7.) Go back into that same pub and announce, “Manchester United is the greatest soccer team to walk the face of God’s green Earth!”

7.2) if you’re still conscious, crawl back into the pub one last time and whisper, “soccer is for little girls.”

6.) Demand genealogical evidence before kissing anyone claiming to be Irish.

5.) Riverdance everywhere you go.

4.) Play camogie rounders through a populated metropolitan area.

3.) Stand outside successful businesses and loudly declare “shenanigans”.

2.) Go to McDonald’s and demand to know if the Shamrock shake uses organic shamrocks.

1.) Wear a “mini” kilt.

Erin go bragh! -Professor Popinjay

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