Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

A Non-Review by Prof Popinjay

Skyscraper was a Chinese copy of Die Hard or the Towering Inferno made by an American Production company starring Dwayne T. Rock-Johnson instead of Bruce Willis or Paul Newman. They dropped a huge bag of money on his doorstep and his eyes literally turned into dollar signs. It was very painful. Of course he couldn’t refuse. He needed the money to pay for reconstructive surgery to make his eyes not dollar signs. It’s a vicious cycle.

I’m very forgiving of this film. It’s not great and much of the belief required of me to suspend was heavier than could be supported by my current rigging. Much happened in this film that made me question Dwayne’s mortality. He was performing feats of Herculean strength and Archmedian incredulity. But! I enjoyed it.

On a side note: What’s with all the Australian henchmen in China set films? Like what did Australia do to be demoted to henchmen face-punch fodder in all Chinese films? Is it just that they’re easier to come by on that side of the globe when they need non-Chinese actors to punch in the face? What about Russians? Most of them aren’t Chinese and have faces, I think. Oh but there’s that wall in the way. That’s an impediment for sure. I’m not advocating for any peoples’ to be punched in the face or really any part of their bodies. I just want to know why Australians? Why Australians with mullets specifically?