Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

By Professor Popinjay

10: You see through the windows of a business and your first thought is “Hey, that place is fully rendered! I can explore it!”

9: When a person asks for spare change you generously respond by tossing money ten feet behind yourself.

8: You refuse to walk very far away from your fancy car because you’re afraid it will de-spawn.

7: You shoot pigeons because you believe if you do you will one day be awarded a helicopter.

6: You believe if you steal an F-16 and fly away fast enough, eventually no one will care that you took it.

5: You’re frequently amazed at the lack of casual profanity from random passers-by

4: You believe you don’t need to sleep if you can manage to get a hotdog.

3: You hate dying because the hospital takes 5,000 dollars from you every time.

2: You want to take a boat to the island of Los Angeles.

1: You come to a traffic jam and ask your kids to hand you your rocket launcher.