Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

A Non-review by Professor Popinjay

Imagine a Sherlock Holmes story but replace Sherlock Holmes with an assassin and replace Watson with… well the Watson character is still basically the Watson character in this, just following the assassin around and being amazed at everything he does. Also, the Watson character’s wife has the hots for the assassin. Also, there’s no mystery.

So you see, it correlates perfectly.

The plot consists of the assassin (Pierce Brosnan) wanting to get out of the assassin trade. Unfortunately the kind of people who employ him are not the type to just let him go. But perhaps the mild-mannered ho-hum Watson character (Greg Kinear) can help him transition into a life of mundanety similar to his own.

It was fairly exciting if I remember correctly. I dunno. It’s certainly not going to sit on the tasseled velvet pillow atop the gilded pedestal surrounded by trumpeting cherubim with a heavenly light resting atop and rose pedals falling around it but it was a decent watch.

I tell you what though! I’m a secure man without an ounce of toxic masculinity and I’m not the jealous type but ain’t no way I’m letting Pierce Brosnan dance with my wife. I don’t care if he DOES have a bevy of Remington 700 AICS sniper rifles in his trunk. I’ll throw a mango at his head ‘fore I let that go on.