Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

A Non-review by Professor Popinjay

Apparently I Am Legend is what The Omega Man with Charlton Heston was based on?

There were some similarities. I think I liked this movie. The effects with the hordes of zombie guys (hemocytes) were pretty impressive. They were just pummeling things to oblivion with their bodies just like sonic the hedgehog except individually they didn’t seem to recover too well after the first assault. Good thing there was an inexhaustible supply of them.

I’ve liked most Will Smith films I’ve seen. I try not to let his personal life get in the way of me enjoying a film. He’s made that really difficult lately.

In The Omega Man the zombie-ish guys were like some kind of robe wearing cult. I get them mixed up with the people who worshiped the nuclear missile in The Planet of the Apes. Probably because Heston was involved in both of these. I have a hard time thinking of Heston as anything but Moses but he’s done a lot of crazy stuff. I haven’t seen Soylent Green yet but I’ve seen so many memes and references to it I practically know the whole film already. Heston did a lot of apocalypse films. Was he typecast or were those just popular at the time? Seems like cinema as a whole was just so bleak in the 70’s. I think that’s one reason why Star Wars was so popular. It was fun and hopeful and had a happy ending. It had nothing whatsoever to do with a clandestine cannibalism conspiracy, or anthropomorphic apes taking over, or zombies in snazzy robes. It was a fresh of breath air is what it was.

I Am Legend had a hopeful ending. And a gripping storyline. I’m not going to spell this out but if you love dogs, this isn’t the movie for you. If you don’t love dogs, you’re probably some kind of cloak-wearing bomb-worshiping anthropomorphic cannibal ape and you’ve earned my contempt on all fronts.