Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

Mark Gleason asks:
Professor Popinjay,
If a pregnant woman goes swimming, does that make her a human submarine?

Great question Mark!
—–However, I feel I would be remiss in my duty to you as a fellow man not to warn you of the dangers of comparing women, pregnant or otherwise, to large sea-faring vessels. I once made the mistake of telling my wife she was pretty as a Full-Rigged Schooner and she just about snapped my mizzenmast. The other danger lies in the amount of sexual innuendos one can make while comparing women to boats, none of which are flattering.

“Hey baby, nice officer’s quarters! Prepare to be boarded!”

I know it’s been the practice to name boats after special ladies but to call a special lady a boat when trying to be romantic might result in a sunken dinghy.
Good luck with your life, your love and your lady. (I refer to the sea.)
-Professor Popinjay

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