Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

A Non-Review by Professor Popinjay

(1999)

This was a DVD release featuring four episodes from the 21 season kids show. Someone on Wikipedia complained that one of these episodes doesn’t feature the character of Muck very prominently but these are MUCK’S favorite adventures. That doesn’t necessarily mean they have to involve Muck directly. Maybe Muck just watched the show and really liked that one episode. Muck knows not everything has to be about Muck. He’s a humble sentient dump truck who is happy to give one of his friends a slot on his DVD.

I don’t know why I watched this. I just had it and was curious. It’s harmless. It seems to teach teamwork and positive attitudes. I suppose that’s important. Maybe if the person complaining about the Muck DVD having an episode that contained a fleeting amount of Muck had watched more of this show they might have a better attitude and understand there’s no Muck in teamwork. Unless you spell it Teamwurck but that would be stupid.

Apparently this got some criticism for not following some safety protocols while engaging in construction work. Seriously? Some OSHA inspector is watching Bob the Builder to make sure he follows safety codes? Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles lived in the sewer. It didn’t inspire me to saw off the grate of a storm drain and delve deep underground in my childhood neighborhood.

Okay, I might have done exactly that but all parents are helicopter parents nowadays. Ain’t no kids left alone long enough to saw anything off of anything or delve anywhere! Sign of the times, I guess. Gotta make sure them kid shows follow proper safety procedures. What’s next? We criticize Bob for wiring the house with 110 when it clearly should have been 220? Should we cancel him for using button head screws when the job called for decking screws?

They (gnomes) eventually switched from stop-motion to cgi. Isn’t that interesting? No. No one cares. However there was a great cry in all the land such as had never been heard nor shall ever be heard again when the entire art style changed in 2014. Fans (yes, there are indeed fans of this show, I checked) were livid, insatiably LIVID when Bob went from being a cute sphere-headed guy to a handsome square-headed guy. I don’t count myself as a fan necessarily but when I learned five minutes ago during my excruciatingly extensive research that this change had been made, I was so freaking pissed I hurled my four-slot toaster through my kitchen window. Friggin’ gnomes!

Bob the Builder’s theme song became a number one hit in the UK selling a million copies. Now Robbie Williams has a biopic where he’s a monkey. What’s happening musically in the UK anyway?

Well, not to worry, Bob fans. Jenifer Lopez is producing a Bob the Builder movie with Anthony Ramos as the voice of Bob. I’ll say one thing: He better be up on his building and safety codes and he better not look like some square-headed Brock Gonad or I’ll raze the theatre to the ground!