Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

By Professor Popinjay

Everyone, without exception, loves stuffed crust pizza. They love that ring of extra cheese. Why wouldn’t they? It’s basically just more pizza. Dip it in pizza sauce and you’re back to square one. Roll the whole pie into a ball and eat it in one bite and you wouldn’t even be able to tell if it had a stuffed crust or not. LAME! If I want more pizza I’ll order more pizza! Why not stuff something into the crust to create some variety! Here’s ten things they could stuff into the crust of stuffed crust pizza that might actually interest me:

10: 50 dollar bills.

9: 100 dollar bills.

8: 500 dollar bills.

Okay sorry, let’s start over…

10: A 47 inch long spicy Italian sausage.

9: Bacon-wrapped cream cheese stuffed jalapeño poppers injected with bronco berry sauce.

8: Sleep inducing pharmaceuticals.

7: My mom’s potato salad

6: Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Eggs & Spam

5: Hand-rolled Cuban cigars

4: Kinetic sand

3: C3H5(ONO2)3

2: Cool looking rocks

1: Free hula hoop!