Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

A Non-Review by Professor Popinjay

(2013)

For the purpose of writing non-reviews I’ve been alternating between things I’ve recently seen and things I watched a long time ago and when I got to the T section of my lists, this documentary was at the top. Riveting.

Well, I personally found this fascinating but I love ancient history and the Hebrew tabernacle is an interesting aspect of their “brief” nomadic period after their exodus from Egypt but before they took up residence in Israel… Obviously a historical documentary isn’t going to be on everyone’s “must see” list. I get it.

If it is however, let me tell you, this is more than some boring guy talking about history the whole time. It’s Ray Zondervan! Ray Zondervan, ladies and gentlemen. Can you believe it!?! Ray Zondervan! This documentary is hosted by Ray Zondervan!

Who is this Ray Zondervan? Great question!

Well I’ll tell you! I don’t know. I see his name associated with many publications so I imagine he’s somebody, I guess.  Actually, he seems pretty chill as he guides us through the history and significance of the tabernacle, imparting life lessons along the way. He’s not just talking but showing us the geographical areas where the Hebrew people traveled.

So what is this crazy tabernacle thing anyway?

It’s a tent.

Whaooooooooooooo!?!?!??!

Yeah, it’s a tent. At least it was at first. Like a huge circus tent. Except, instead of tambourines and elephants, it housed the Holy of Holies and the Arc of the Covenant, the one from Indiana Jones. It was basically a mobile temple. (Okay, there probably were a few tambourines. They loved tambourines back then. A drum that jingles!?! Are you kidding me!?!) 

But this is where the term Holy of Holies came from as heard in the 1994 Quentin Tarantino film Pulp Fiction, although the context there was very different to say the least.

The aspect I found particularly fascinating was the curtain which separated the Holy of Holies and the arc of the covenant from the inner sanctum. Only the high priest could enter the Holy of Holies and they (not gnomes) tied a rope to his waist and he had to ring a bell the whole time he was in there. If the bell quit ringing, everyone outside knew he hadn’t been properly atoned before entry and dude just died… just like in Indiana Jones! So they’d haul his unsanctified ass out by the rope.

According to the Bible, when Der Christkindl was crucified, this curtain (later, in a brick and mortar non-tent version of the tabernacle) ripped right in half. Until THE Ray Zondervan explained it, I thought the curtain was just a flimsy curtain thing, like the one I keep in front of my shower so my wife doesn’t see me scrubbing my naughty bits.

But this curtain was several inches of multiple layers of heavy fabric hung on huge gold rings. The fact that this thing was rent in twain was not just a thing that happened, it was miraculous. And it symbolized the Holiness wasn’t just for high priests with their fancy duds and bells and ropes. Now it was for everyone. EVERYONE! Pat Sajack! Don Ameche! Tommy Lasorda! Chris Rock! Nicolas Cage! Phil Swift! Jeffery Dahmer! Randall Park! Angelina Jolie! Ron Jeremy! Tammy Faye Baker! Bob Sagat! Michael Peña! Ian McKellen! Arin Hanson and Dan Avidan! EVERYONE! Even Ray Zondervan.

Well, sorry I went off about tents and curtains on a non-camping, non-interior decorating blog but I watch almost everything and then I write about it. That’s all there is to it. Have a drink, on me!