Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

A Non-Review by Professor Popinjay

(1978)

Sometimes I can’t recall if I’ve seen a film or not until I’ve watched a bit of it. It takes a second to strike a chord on my memory harp. It’s one of the pitfalls of watching things as rapidly as I do. Most of the time, once a film is recalled I tend to lose immediate interest. Every once in a while though, I’ll realize I’ve seen a film and I’ll recall enjoying it so thoroughly, I just go-ahead and watch it again. Hot Lead and Cold Feet was one these.

Jim Dale is hilarious, playing three different roles; that of: The dainty and eloquent Eli Bloodshy raised in England and guardian of two darling orphans through the Salvation Army. Secondly, he also plays Eli’s twin brother, Wild Billy Bloodshy, the rough and rowdy outlaw raised in the United States. And finally, he plays cantankerous Jasper Bloodshy, elderly father to the Bloodshy twins. Each role is wholly unique and really demonstrates the acting ability of Mr. Dale.

Of course if you’ve seen the original Pete’s Dragon, you’ll remember Jim Dale as the fantastic Doctor Terminus. He’s just awesome in everything.

Here’s the plot. Jasper Bloodshy, in an attempt to rustle up some excitement for himself, fakes his death thus initiating a last will and testament stating his twin sons are to compete in a race to win the considerable inheritance. Eli and Billy are unaware of the others’ existence and therefore also unaware they’re twins. This is grounds for some entertaining hijinks when Eli comes to America and finds his visage commands a great deal of fear and respect thanks to the infamous reputation of Billy. Of course Eli just wants to sing and be very polite which everyone is terrified by considering who they think he is.

Eventually, the twins meet and they have a series of squabbles between the two of them, their contrasting personalities creating quite the scene. All the while their father watches on from afar and from time to time even secretly intervenes to level the playing field.

Finally, the day of the race arrives with the odds stacked against both contestants thanks to the mayor who stands to profit should both the twins not finish the race.

Throughout the story, Don Knotts and Jack Elam engage in a B story that frankly could have been its own movie but it’s welcome here and doesn’t slow things down even if it hasn’t much to do with the main plot. Don is Sheriff in town and Jack is his rival. They keep inadvertently crossing paths and so they, of course, have to square off. Just before they can draw their guns though, something funny always happens to prevent them from shooting each other. Both these fellas are a hoot to watch.

The whole film is a riot and it has great lessons. Plus it has a catchy theme song to boot, “May the Best Man Win”. If you’ve never heard of this, give it a chance!