Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

A Non-Review by Professor Popinjay

(2004)

Also known as Bride and Prejudice: the Bollywood Musical… as if we didn’t know.

In keeping with the tradition of every woman I’ve ever met inundating me with variations of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice thus making me seem a well cultured and sensitive male, the woman I would eventually marry would subject me to two versions so far, just to make sure. Bride and Prejudice: The Bollywood Musical was one of them.

It’s a temptation to present myself here as a hard-fightin’ hard-fartin’ Man’s man who cares not for the frivolities of romance and the intricacies and complications of human interaction. Damn, that sentence started out good but betrayed me toward the end. The fact is, it worked. I am cultured and sensitive and it’s all their fault. My kids stare at me with bewildered looks as tears well up in my eyes while watching particularly heartwarming scenes from the SpongeBob SquarePants movie.

So I have a lot of “Pride and Prejudice” to compare to. Bride and Prejudice with a ‘B’ is not a fifteen hour long miniseries for once. It has that in its favor. It’s also very modern. No unflattering, ill-fitting breeches in THIS version, thank God!

As this takes place in modern India (even though it was filmed primarily in England) we have some refreshing variety from the standard Regency Period costumes and it’s not just a bunch of stuffy three piece suits. The beautiful array of colorful sarees and sherwani and kurta and angarkha and jama and dhoti and pajamas… sorry, I did some research on names of Indian clothing and got carried away.

The various “parties” at which the characters find themselves are at beaches and other such cool looking places. Naturally if a “Bollywood Musical” has a party, you can bet your sweet bippy there’s gonna be a Bollywood musical number. Frankly, I think most productions of anything need a Bollywood musical number whether they’re a Bollywood production or not. Could you imagine RoboCop with a Bollywood Musical Number!?! Well imagine no more!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=O9oocTf3F4E

In place of Elizabeth’s sister showing off with the piano we have Lalita’s sister doing the Cobra dance. It’s super cringy and very inappropriate in the context of the culture and also hilarious.

Among the characters, the Indian version of Mr. Collins stands out in particular. Most Jane Austin aficionados will remember Mr. Collins as the overly flattering Clergyman, obsessed with gratitude toward his wealthy (and apparently generous) patron Lady Catherine de Burr. He also amuses himself with arranging such little elegant compliments, but always wishes to give them as unstudied an air as possible. Basically, he makes up fancy things to say prior to social gatherings so as to later impress people. Incidentally, he comes off as sycophantic.

Mr. Collin’s Indian counterpart is Mr. Kohli (played by Nitin Ganatra. Instead of a clergyman obsessed with Lady de Burr, Mr. Kohli is obsessed with success in America and laughs like a donkey. It’s pretty dang funny. It’s just enough departure from the original to feel unique but he very much embodies the humorously annoying idea which Mr. Collins presents.

Both characters play on the possible prejudice of the audience who, for the most part, tend to concur with the other characters who must endure Collins/Kohli. And yet Chandra Lamba (Solani Kulkarni, this film’s equivalent to the character Charlotte Lucas) is quite happy to marry Mr. Kohli, able provider as he clearly is, despite his somewhat loathsome behavior. Collins/Kohli is an ingenious inclusion in my opinion, as it shows even the relatively humble born Elizabeth Bennet is not without her own prejudices.

To my dismay, it’s been pointed out to me that the darker-skinned Indian cast members are all portraying servants and attendants and like positions while the lighter skinned people all have main parts. I don’t know much of racism in Indian culture so I shan’t comment beyond saying this is unfortunate. This is, indeed, unfortunate. This obvious segregation is particularly strange in a film about overcoming pride and prejudices. Regardless of talent and skin color, all people are precious.

I saw this without considering any such issues, ignorant as I was. It was a rather refreshing version and thoroughly entertaining but I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to see it again without noticing that elephant in the room; and I’m not referring to Ganesha.