Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

A Non-review by Professor Popinjay

(2018)

In this case the term “crazy” is referring to people who party and do wild things. I did not go into this film thinking it would be about people with derogatory mental illness. I don’t think a film titled “Mentally ill People from the Eastern Hemisphere” would have gone over very well unless it was a documentary.

In regards to rich people, some are pretty intolerable but not all. Some, as this title implies, are “crazy” and since they have a lot of money they can afford to throw wild parties and do “crazy” things at said parties as previously mentioned.

I like a lot of people. Some people I like happen to be crazy, some happen to be rich, and some happen to be Asian. A film about wealthy people, who happen to be Asian, having parties and doing fun things sounded…

…boring af… and not because said people happen to be Asian. I just want to make that perfectly clear.

Despite my indifference toward crazy parties, disinterest in riches, and complete adoration of all things Asian be it person, place, or thing, this movie sounded to me like a different movie about wealthy people who happen to be Robert Redford, having parties and doing fun things like throwing dress-shirts around the room (Woo!) or being murdered.

I’m not a fan of The Great Gatsby. I’m not really a fan of F. Scott Fitzgerald at all for that matter. This sounded like another one of those.

As it turns out, while Crazy Rich Asians has plenty of crazy rich parties,  there’s actually a plot too, which I appreciated. I mean I appreciated that there was a plot. No one gets murdered in this plot which I know tends to spice things up but there were plenty of spicy things happening otherwise.

As to what the plot was about… It was cute. It’s your usual story of guy and girl fall in love and then she meets all his family and “friends” and they’re all a bunch of super wealthy, jealous, disapproving, conniving douche bags. They figure it out.

Michelle Yeoh is in it because of course she is. Pretty sure it states in her contract that she must be in all movies. That’s a pretty sweet deal actually. It’s a paradox that she hasn’t been in any movies featuring Brian Cranston who clearly has the same deal. The only logical conclusion is that Michelle Yeoh and Brian Cranston are the same person. Let’s not explore this idea.

This film was like the opposite of Pride and Prejudice. The main characters really like each other right from the start and no one wants them to get married. Although, she didn’t know he was rich so that’s different, I guess. Dang, I wish I’d find out I was rich. I would buy so much Chinese food.

How’s that for a subtle segue? Personally, the best part of this movie is the food they were always making. I know because I was eating Thai food while watching this.

Speaking of Thailand (another great segue, thank you) I guess there were some complaints about other people groups not having representation in this film. I suppose they (gnomes) should not have called it “Asians” per sé. I saw no Russians, or Malay people. I also saw no Hawaiians or Vikings. If it was a huge cast, I might fault the movie for not having a wider variety of races and cultures whom are hopefully not being made the butt of jokes. But this is a film about a specific Chinese family, not a documentary about the people of Asia. I don’t see the validity of the complaint here and I see no reason to dictate to a director a predetermined set of rules to which they must submit their art.

I’ve heard other complaints about actors in this film not being completely Chinese. I’m sorry, who is purely anything these days? Why is this even a concern? Who’s even making this complaint, Draco Malfoy? Herman Göring? Get off your high horse. The actors and actresses were all great. Aquafina was hilarious. So was Danny DeVito, but he wasn’t in this. What gives!?! DeVito needs representation!

I especially like movies where Aquafina plays Danny DeVito but that’s neither here nor there.