Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

A Non-review by Professor Popinjay

(1995)

I remember seeing this vhs tape on the shelf at the rental store and I recalled John Candy passed away in 1994 so I figured this must be his last film.  I remember being sad about that even at a young age. I’m more sad now, knowing so much more about what a great guy he was.

For some reason my mom started mixing up John Candy movies with Chris Farley movies. She did not like Chris Farley at all. She took me to see Black Sheep and was not impressed. So at some point we quit watching John Candy movies. If I knew then what I know now, I’d be even more vehement about this! How DARE you besmirch the name of John Candy!?! HE IS A DARLING OF A MAN!!!

The selection of films my mom took me to see as a kid is a strange list considering the kind of person she is and what she liked back then. Though I don’t recall her liking much of anything. Nowadays she can’t handle any degree of drama or fiction… or non-fiction… or comedy. The last film I watched all the way through with her was The Queen of Katwe (2016). She was an emotional wreck throughout it, poor woman.

So I didn’t actually see this until just recently. My wife recommended it. I have to say I was a little confused at first. Knowing Candy was born in Toronto and had been heavily involved with Canadian television before he started being featured in films here in the States, I just assumed, in a film titled Canadian Bacon, Candy would be playing a Canadian. Not so.

He’s a gung-ho American, who sneaks into Canada to “rescue” his beloved (Rhea Perlman), whom he concludes must have been captured by Mounties and is now a prisoner of war. This assumption is based on propaganda instigated by the U.S. President (Alan Alda) who, when unable to get the Russian Premier to agree to a fun little war for the purposes of boosting his approval ratings, instead villainizes Canada, the sweetest most nicest people on this whole God-forsaken planet. And why wouldn’t they be!?! They produced John Candy! Also, Keanu Reeves… okay he moved to Toronto when he was three but it still counts!

A war with Canada was a hilarious and absurd concept back in 1995. It’s still absurd but I have a hard time finding it funny right now in 2025.

Looking at it through the lens of an American in 1995, this Michael Moore film is actually quite hilarious. My favorite part is when the Canadian police officer (Dan Akroyd) pulls Candy over because of all the Canadian slurs written on the outside of his truck. The officer’s concern? Apparently there’s a law in Canada which states all signage must be posted in both English and French. Of course all this is rattled off in Akroyd’s fast-paced, overly-technical style; the kind of line he loves. No mention is made of the slurs. Great stuff.

Ultimately a very fun film with an amazing cast and a great lesson, namely, don’t blindly buy into every bit of propaganda shoved in your face by moronic power-hungry politicians. I might add the subtext of: Being truly patriotic and a good neighbor means NOT jumping on every insane band-wagon that comes your way. Same thing said a different way but I think there’s merit in overstatement in this case.

If you watch this and you’re wondering why Kevin J. O’Connor looks so familiar, he played Benny in The Mummy (1999) and Igor in Van Helsing (2004).

Hey!

Love your country. Love Canadians. Love people. Be a good neighbor. Say please and thank you and soory, eh?

Optional Tangent:

I was commissioned to paint a couple murals in town and as I live in Oregon, the Cascade mountain range is a common subject for artistic study. Well, “study” is what I should have done a bit more of because in choosing a photo as inspiration, I landed on what I thought was a very picturesque photo of the Three Sisters mountains. They were the Three Sisters, just not Oregon’s Three Sisters. They were the Canadian Three Sisters which I obliviously emblazoned on two different giant walls. Probably two of the greatest blunders of my life and a great source of amusement amongst my family and friends.

The first was in my place of employment and features just those three mountains. The other is an even worse blunder in my opinion as the mural features SEVERAL mountain from the Cascades AND the Canadian Three Sisters.

They are beautiful mountains and I am completely satisfied with both murals but I still kick myself for not researching just a little further. Oof.

We’ve even had some Canadians in my place of employment and they even asked “Hey there, are those there the Canadian Three Sisters there, eh?”

And I was like “Canadian? Naw! Them’s OUR Three Sisters!”

To which the Canadian responded “Well, uh, I suppose you’re welcome to them if you like ‘em that much, eh?”

Nice guys. Man, I feel dumb.

I called the larger mural “Seed of Faith” because you can move mountains with faith the size of a mustard seed and, well, moving mountains is exactly what I did here. In all honestly though, I appreciate the kind gesture but, Canada, your mountains are gorgeous right where they are and I’ll gladly travel the distance to see them in person someday if you’ll have me. No need to move mountains on my account.

Here’s a video of me painting the other mural: