Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

A Non-Review by Professor Popinjay

(1999)

While starting my Non-review of “Gnomeo and Juliet” I realized this treatise on “The Magical Legend of the Leprechauns” never made it over to this platform. First published July 22, 2017. Enjoy.

Ah, Halmark movies! Each one is three hours long because what else is a greeting card company going to do with its time? After seeing this, I wanted to assume Hallmark might be making movies to strengthen the sentiments behind certain less card-oriented holidays and traditions but they make all kinds of weird movies based on existing stories in the public domain. Magical Legend of the Leprechauns is of course based on… care to take a guess? Yup. William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet.

Have you ever wanted to see Romeo and Juliet rendered in leprechaun? I asked world-class vocalist Jordan Bradley that very question and he said “This is a private party. How did you get in here?” Well, it’s a half original concept anyway , I’ll give them that!
—–Don’t expect to see a slogan at the bottom of the VHS box denoting this as a Shakespearian rip-off. Hallmark movies deal in subtlety. Right, and everyone in Ireland has red hair.

No, I began to detect the star-crossed lovers theme when first a leprechaun falls in love with a faerie. Then the respective Leprechaun/Faerie versions of Mercutio and Tibalt are killed. Then a concerned third party in the form of Butter faerie / Friar Lawrence administers a potion that they may undertake a thing like death to stop their families’ fighting. There you go. It’s the story of Lil’ Romeo and fun-sized Juliet.

—–Oh and there’s a B-story involving a Randy Quaid love story, just to flesh out the uneventful Elizabethan tragedy into a two and a half hour romp. If you’ve ever wanted to see sauve heart-throb Randy Quaid loch lips with an Irish lass, hey, forget about it! How’s THAT for a thought you’ve never had!?!

—–As with any movie there were some definitely enjoyable parts. I liked the typical Irish banter that went back and forth. A leprechaun version of young Kieran Culkin, tied up by fearies (snicker) exclaims to his leprechaun kin who come to his aid, “Don’t worry boys, I got them right where I want them.”

—–Colm Meaney, as the leprechaun father, says, after being informed of his rather pushy wife’s kidnapping, “Well, I suppose I should do the respectable thing and rescue her. Let’s attack!.” “But sir,” says his kin, “if we attack they may torture her!”
“I appreciate the effort,” says the father, “But you’ll not cheer me up that easily.” Tis a sweet relationship they have.

—–My favorite part was subtlety at its finest! The town parishioner wins a stuffed pink elephant at a fair and remarks, “Father Hannigan used to see these all over the place, maybe I’ll give this to him.” Later during a brimstone sermon by that same parishioner, that same stuffed pink elephant has a seat in the front row of the congregation. In the midst of everyone looking worried and uncomfortable that was rich! Two and a half hours well spent!

I don’t do movie reviews,
Prof. Popinjay