Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

A non-review by Professor Popinjay

This Non-review encapsulates the following films:

• Predator………………….. (1987) 
• Predator 2…………………(1990)
• Predators…………………..(2010)
• The Predator………………(2018)
• Prey……(2022) [NO SPOILERS]
• Predator: Killer of Killers….(2025) [NO SPOILERS]
• Predator Badlands(2025) [NO SPOILERS]

If you’re under the age of 20, you probably won’t even believe me when I tell you there was a time when R rated movies, while not specifically marketed to kids, definitely had a bevy of merchandise and video games that were unabashedly marketed to kids. From toys to clothing to lunch boxes, movies like Rambo, Alien, Robocop, Terminator, the Toxic Avenger, even Nightmare on Elm Street; all of these had a highly desirable toy line with commercials featuring kids having a blast with these items.

I had some Rambo toys. I forgot them on the playground at a Mt. Raineer campground. When I remembered, I came back and they were gone. My wife hugged me a lot but it didn’t bring the toys back. Just kidding. I was just a kid in the 80’s and wasn’t married yet.

I also had some predator vs. alien toys. The concept of those two films crossing over with each other was only a far off dream at that time unless you were into the dark horse comics or novels. I tried the novel. That’s how I knew the Predator’s name for themselves in their own language was “Yuatja”. That knowledge made me quite the cool cucumber in my own circles. It didn’t impress the ladies much though. I eventually gave up on the book because there was over 500 words on the first page alone! What am I, a word processor?

I remember my mom taking a trip to visit some relatives, so my dad and I rented Terminator and Terminator 2: Judgement Day. My dad probably regrets this in retrospect because that pretty much got me hooked on relatively violent action flicks. Granted, I do think some films go too far with violence but most Schwarzenegger films were well within my threshold. Soaking in all these kinds of films naturally led me to Predator (1987).

One may ask “Didn’t you become a man immediately after watching Tremors in 1990?” Yes, correct. But I watched plenty of violent action flicks before that. One’s transition from boy to man is linked to his age and hormones, not what movies he watches. 

Predator was amazing! Just one badass after another doing crazy manly things like shaving their already clean-shaven face (I did that all the time!) and covering themselves with mud and yelling “Arrrrg!”  into the dark of the jungle: a visceral challenge to the thing that hunts them! So freaking cool! I stubbed my toe the other day and only cried for ten minutes! Arnold was my hero.

Or maybe the Predator was my hero? I used to run and jump full speed through the woods pretending to be this thing! I even made myself a mask like his out of cardboard. I glued long green onions to it for the alien dreadlocks. Stank to high heaven. Looked cool though and isn’t that what truly matters?

To think this could have been a very different film with jean-Claude Van Damme in a very different looking monster suit stalking around. I shudder to think of it.

It was a simple plot too. This thing came from space looking for good sport. Does a bit of recon, picks a target based on badassery, then commences. It’s a great formula!

Predator was great from start to finish and ends with the most chilling evil laugh in cinematic history. They just don’t make movies like this anymore… or do they?

Have you seen Predator the Musical? If not you simply must:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qlicWUDf5MM&pp=ygUUcHJlZGF0b3IgdGhlIG11c2ljYWw%3D

When I finally saw Predator 2 (1990) I remember being miffed that Schwarzenegger wasn’t in it. In retrospect, doing different time periods makes for better storytelling. No sense in going back to Central America and having the Predator face Dutch (Arnold) over and over. But wait, who was the human bad ass in Predator 2? DANNY GLOVER!?! The funny guy from the Lethal Weapon films? The guy who got blown up while sitting on the toilet!?! He’s going to fight a Predator?

But you know what? It worked out. It wasn’t bad. Bill Paxton helped! That links Bill Paxton to Terminator, Alien, AND now Predator. Is he the same character in each film? He’s met the terminator, folks. His access to time travel is entirely plausible.

Predator may have been violent but Predator 2 was super violent and… kind of raunchy. It took place in Los Angeles which was a new interesting locale for a hunt. But that meant there was all kinds of gang warfare, drug use, promiscuity, human sacrifices, voodoo, and old ladies watching Jeopardy!. You don’t see THAT in the jungle!

To top it all off Gary Busey shows up and flashes his enormous teeth at us. That’s like icing on the cake.

Honestly, the cityscape and its population created many opportunities for humor even amid this tumultuous suspenseful story. That old lady watching Jeopardy! was hilarious.

This installment was pretty dang cool. Just as good as the first in my opinion.

In 2004 and 2007 we finally got a couple more Predator films in Alien vs. Predator and Alien vs. Predator: Requiem. I liked the first one fine but the second was hot garbage. This is not to say I thought the first film was a perfect movie. It contradicted much of what had been established in other films from both franchises and presented some major continuity problems if they were meant to be a canonical part of either. The consensus view is that these are not canonical, thankfully. 

Frankly, I wanted to see Predators show up in Alien films, not the other way around like these were.

But I already mused on these films in my article “Alien to Alien: Romulus”, so I’ll move on.

Next we have PredatorS with an “S” at the end. They did it with AlienS, naturally we have to do it with PredatorS too. This one was alright. It had decent enough action I suppose. I don’t know. I kind of wanted to sweep this under the rug but for Lawrence Fishburne’s character.

The idea was the Predators abducted all these humans to stock a planet for a good hunt. The humans consisted of soldiers, special ops, criminals, and even a doctor (Topher Grace). These humans speculate as to why the doctor was included since he was neither physically formidable nor apparently adept at survival. They conclude he must have been brought by the predators to serve this team of humans as a field medic. They could not have been more wrong on this account.

Eventually they meet Noland, played by Lawrence Fishburne, who they learn has been on this planet for quite some time before them. He describes himself as “The one that got away”. He’s a badass but unfortunately also rather unscrupulous when it comes to his own survival. That’s unfortunate because I would have watched a whole movie about this guy “getting away” if he had been an honorable character.

I completely forgot Danny Trejo was in this! Talk about a badass! He’s literally in a series of films titled “Badass”… with Danny Glover? Whaaaaaat!?!

Why wasn’t PredatorS just Trejo as himself fighting Predators? Danny Trejo is Danny Trejo in “Multiple Predators vs. Danny Trejo”. Tagline: In space no one can hear the Predators cry like leetle girls, vato!

I felt like this whole story petered out toward the end and ultimately the real threat was not the Predators hunting them per sé. I felt like there was a shocking lack of Predator involvement in this Predator movie and it mostly focused on the inner-turmoil of this ragtag bunch of humans. Kind of lame.

Ultimately I just didn’t really care for this one. I feel like it missed the mark that the first two films hit so squarely.

After this we get The Predator (2018). If there’s one thing I can’t stand more than just adding an “S” to a title and calling it a sequel, it’s adding “The” to the beginning of a title and calling it a sequel. I cite precedents with exhibit A) Batman: The Animated Series and exhibit B) The Batman: Animated Series. There’s a major difference between the two of these and the only thing differentiating the titles is the placement of the “The”. STUPID!

I don’t know what to think about this one. There was a lot of crazy crap happening. There’s this guy who encounters a predator and he gets ahold of its helmet. He sends the helmet to his kid and the kid’s mom where the kid thinks it’s a birthday present or something like that. Then these preda-dogs (predaterriers?) show up and there’s talk of predators doing selective breeding and genetic splicing to make better hunters so that’s where we get the preda-huahuas (predoodles? Sorry, I don’t know what to call the Predator dogs) and it turns out the predator that came to Earth was actually here to help us against a huge Predator monstrosity that didn’t use technology, it just kicked everyone’s ass.

The big predator monster made the actual predator kind of look like a weenie and there were no main badasses per sé. It seemed like most of the film took place in a rural neighborhood surrounding a little league baseball park. Boring. The characters were uninteresting, being crass and crude for the sake of being crass and crude, to get that R rating maybe. And the whole thing has that cavalier “Well THAT just happened” brand of humor that plagued us in the 2010s. It feels like a Predator movie made to simply say we made a Predator movie.

The trailer did a good job making this look interesting. I suppose it was a spectacle to say the least even if they threw the winning formula on its ear. I’ll say this though, the ending seemed low budget compared to the rest of the film, as if they ran out of money or just couldn’t justify spending the dough on the cgi that was only going to be seen for five seconds. I think they were trying to set up a sequel but the direction it was going seemed stupid as all get out. No one wanted it.

I suppose it’s worth the watch but it doesn’t feel like it fits in this franchise and the decisions made were more gimmicky than making for an interesting story.

Now director Dan Trachtenberg steps in with the film Prey (2022). Here is a man who clearly understands the winning formula of the first two Predator films and, so far as I can tell, seems to be disregarding PredatorS with an S and The Predator with the The. Prey gets back to the basics with a Predator coming to Earth, scoping out the badasses, picking a target, and awesomeness ensues.

This time the story takes place in an old west setting and it’s a Native American woman who fights back. I’ve heard some complaints that this character is kind of a “Mary Sue”. If you’re unfamiliar, that’s a character, usually female, who exists as an unflawed fantasy-fulfillment self-projection of the author who is adored by all, can do no wrong, and single-handedly saves the day, sometimes with little to no training.

I would argue that the woman in Prey has had plenty of training and her struggle to fight this deadly space monster is very apparent. I don’t think she fits in the Mary-Sue category at all.

I don’t want to go into great detail here as I promised no spoilers but Prey is very good and an excellent recall to the originals. Dan Trachtenberg is proving to be an excellent cinematic storyteller. [I LOVED 10 Cloverfield Lane (2016) ] My only regret with Prey is that without the Predator title attached, a lot of people didn’t realize it’s a Predator film. Heck, I even forgot to included its poster with the other Predator films in the featured image for this article! [E-mail readers won’t see that image unfortunately. Write your congressman.]

Mid-article optional tangent:

[What’s with that these days? I remember a lot of people were blindsided by the realization that Prometheus (2012) was part of the Alien franchise. 

Ridley Scott even expressed regrets having not titled it Alien: Prometheus.

There’s a ton of films most don’t realize are connected because of weird titles. Like The Two Jakes (1990) being a sequel to Chinatown (1974) or Along Came a Spider (2001) being a sequel to Kiss the Girls (1997). Just slap a 2 on the title so we know what’s going on for crying out loud! I don’t know how many times I’ve been watching a movie and realized there seems to be information I’m supposed to be knowing here, only to find out that the movie I’m watching is a sequel. A Doris Day movie did that to me one time with On Moonlight Bay (1951) and its prequel By the Light of the Silvery Moon (1953). It’s crazy-making!

I bet you didn’t expect to hear a reference to Doris Day in a Predator article, eh? Doris Day vs. Predator? There’s a movie I’d pay good money to see! Especially if the Predator was played by Rex Harrison. Or better yet, Doris Day vs. Danny Trejo! Why did I not go into filmmaking!?!]

Next we come to Predator: Badlands (2025). Predator: Killer of Killers (2025), a full length animated feature takes place before Badlands, I think, but I’m writing about these in the order I saw them, just so you know. The stories are not necessarily connected anyway… yet.

Badlands is once again directed by Trachtenberg, a major point in its favor. I went to see it with my buddy Matt, who I’ve pretty much forced to watch Alien and Predator films with me since 1998.

I’ll say this right now, this definitely does NOT follow the formula… but it was really good. I know there are some complaints out there. Some say the influence of Disney can be felt. Some say there were parts a bit unbelievable. Some say having a Predator as the protagonist nullifies some of the alluring mystery the Predator species is usually so shrouded in.

These complaints might be valid. But it was still fun.

Elle Fanning’s very non-robotic portrayal was a bit annoying at first but as the film progressed I realized there is very good reason for her being that way. I thought it was poor acting initially but it was a conscious choice and it made sense.

I’m glad they didn’t have the Predator, or Yuatja as it is actually referred to in the film, ever speak English but that meant there was a lot of subtitles to read. Doesn’t bother me or take me out of it but I know some people don’t care for that.

What did take me out a bit was the title card that read “20th Century Fox Presents Predator: Badlands a registered trademark of the 20th Century Fox Corporation, All Rights Reserved” or something to that effect. I understand that information has to be present somewhere for some reason. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen it in an actual title card though. Research shows there have been some legal issues with ownership of the Pretador brand which could explain why they felt it necessary to display this information so prominently.

One thing I especially appreciated about this film is (and I don’t think I’m spoiling anything here as it can be plainly seen in the trailer) is the mixing of elements from the Alien franchise within a Predator film. We’re finally getting what we want! The worlds of Predator and Alien are colliding and it’s not some retconned contradictory contrived Earth bound clap-trap! They did nothing to promote this as an Alien vs Predator film. I mean, it’s NOT! There are no H.R. Geiger xenomorphs in this film. But we do have an obvious Weyland-Yutani brand android as a main character. And the presence of this heartless faceless corporation is definitely felt. I love that they’re just going all in without pushing the idea, as if to say, these stories have always been connected but we’ll leave it to you to piece that together.

I don’t mind being made to care about a Yuatja killing-machine who learns to live, laugh, and love. I don’t care that there’s a Disney-esque, Lilo and Stitch-like plucky sidekick. I don’t care that this didn’t follow the tried and true formula for a good Predator film. I liked this story.

I liked it so much, in fact, I came home and immediately started writing this article. This naturally led me to check what other Predator films there had been just to keep them in order and (to quote the French chef in Disney’s The Little Mermaid) “Sacré Bleu! I have missed one!”

That’s right, Dan Trachtenberg directed a full length animated Predator film right under my nose and didn’t tell me! As it was available on Hulu I watched Predator: Killer of Killers the minute I learned about it.

Honestly? I liked it even better than Badlands! This one DID stick to the formula! In fact, it did it three times and threw us a twist at the end followed by some other surprises I shan’t spoil! Dang, this was good! The animation lends well to the atmosphere and themes and the overall story is EPIC!!!!!

Be forewarned though, this film is beyond violent! The first main character we meet fights with two sharpened shields and she is NOT shy about using them to her full advantage.

Killer of Killers was by far the best Predator film I have seen, bar none! It’s beholden to themes from the originals but drives it home with such soulful force as to hit marks never expected from a franchise that typically and enjoyably caters to bravado and action. I cannot recommend this highly enough. But I say again, it is VERY violent.

And Dan Trachtenberg? We shall be following your career most enthusiastically.