Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

A list by Professor Popinjay

10: You destroy every lamp and candle you see.

9: You don’t do construction projects because you think switching from one tool to another is fiddly and inconvenient.

8: You break holes in walls looking for fresh hot turkeys.

7: You keep re-entering the room, hoping your deceased goldfish will respawn.

6: You go hunting with nothing but a whip.

5: You swim by jumping over and over again.

4: You have a lead filled teddy bear.

3: At dusk you recite “What a horrible night to have a curse.” And everyone on the bus scoots away from you.

2: Your favorite actors are Belo Lugosi, Boris Karloffice, and Love Chaney Jr.

1: You get into karate fights with housemaids.