Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

A Non-review by Professor Popinjay

Three movies shall enter this article, none shall leave:

Mad Max (1979)

Mad Max: The Road Warrior (1981)

Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdone (1985)

If you’re a super fan of these films you may want to step outside. I’ll tell you now, while I thought Road Warrior and Thunderdome were entertaining enough, I still have some major questions about just what the heck is going on in them. As far as the first film goes, it can just £¥<# right off.

Road Warrior and Thunderdome were on TV constantly when I was a kid. Having seen these later two films so frequently and generally enjoying them, naturally I had a desire to see the first. Well, in a rare instance of having expectations governed by what I saw in the sequels, the first Mad Max did not blow my skirt up.

While the later films are clearly post-apocalyptic, the first Mad Max film is introduced as starting to become apocalyptic but apparently they were still waiting for it. The world in Mad Max did not seem very apocalyptic. Sure there was a motorcycle gang running amok and general lawlessness prevails but isn’t that just a normal Tuesday in Australia? Just kidding. I love you, Australia.

It’s a great degree of separation from Mad Max (1979) and The Road Warrior (1981). The Road Warrior is set only three years after Mad Max and yet we’re expected to believe in that brief amount of time the world goes from organized police forces and normal looking automobiles to a desert BDSM party with vehicles that look like they were designed by Tim Burton and George Barris?

I guess we’re probably right on track for that though. Who knows what three years will bring? I’ve got all my strappy leather outfits on stand-by and I have a whole arsenal of metal spikes I can attach to my minivan at a moment’s notice, just in case.

Let’s talk about Toecutter. He’s the main villain in Mad Max. Worst possible name for a villain. He might as well be called Funnybone Smacker. I’m sure there was some explanation for the name but it’s not the least bit scary.

Max’s wife’s wardrobe was atrocious too. I don’t usually complain about stuff like this but if this was supposed to be apocalyptic or pre-apocalyptic, nothing took me out of it more than her fashion. The old lady with the shotgun at the end wasn’t winning any awards either. I guess this is still the same complaint. It just seems like a movie was filmed without any thought of changing the modern set to something futuristic. It seems like calling this pre-apocalyptic was an afterthought.

There’s good acting here though. It’s Mel Gibson for crying out loud. There’s a decent story here too and it’s probably a decent origin for who Max would become. I just had a real hard time with it because I saw its successors first and they were VERY different movies.

I don’t recall any major issues with Mad Max: The Road Warrior. I thought it was funny that Lord Humungus and his gang never really resided anywhere, they just had this wild party going on 24/7 in the middle of nowhere.

Lord Humungus. I suppose it’s slightly better than Toecutter. It’s certainly exactly what I would expect from post-apocalyptic Australia. It’s easier to pronounce than something like Lord Ringodangadooyajabber. Strange thing is, it just so happens “Lord Humungus” was my nickname in my weightlifting class… Just kidding. It was a culinary school.

There was a plot but it seemed just a catalyst for the chase and I was just fine with that. The best of the Mad Max movies are comparable to Godzilla films. Add a plot if you like but none of us are here for the plot. We’re here to see wanton destruction. Might as well set a plot to a demolition derby. No one is going to care whether the shiela will fall in love with the bloke by the end. Just show us the

fast cars, stunts, and explosions!

Also, this one had the feral child played by Emil Minty. I was so fascinated by him. He had the most amazing mullet I’ve ever seen on a kid. I can honestly say I did not want that mullet on my own head. I was a spikey-haired kid through and through. What I DID want however was the feral child’s sharpened boomerang! Alas, my mother never bought me one. They were probably recalled just like the lawn darts we had.

That Emil Minty was a good actor though. In real life he’s not feral at all. He’s not even a child. Well, he’s not a child anymore anyways. He’s a jeweler!

Beyond Thunderdome (1985) was weird. Of course I was thoroughly entertained by it as a kid but in retrospect, that movie is just weird. Fun! But weird.

First of all, Tina Turner is in it. She’s the villain. Yes, we’ve come a long way since Toecutter and Lord Humungus.

It also had Bruce Spence in it which would make you think “Oh, yes, Spence was in The Road Warrior hence Spence would recommence in future events.” Except he’s playing an explicitly different character in Thunderdome. That makes no sense. Both characters are even pilots! There’s no difference! What gives, Bruce Spence!?!

So Max gets banished from Bartertown, sent into the desert with a huge paper mache Mardi Gras head on him. When I was a kid I thought that was part of the punishment and everyone wearing those at Mardi Gras were being banished… except those people were usually dancing so I was confused.

Max meets a group of lost kids who are waiting in an oasis for someone to help them fly so they can escape to never-never… I mean Tommorow-morrow Land”. Yeah, so for a while we take a trip into a whacked-out post-apocalyptic Australian version of Peter Pan.

If these kids have been here long enough to have lore, why are they not grown up yet? Unless this actually IS Nevernever Land! They act like they’ve been waiting for ages. What, did their flight crash land carrying two 7 year olds and a pile of babies? And then Captain Walker probably says with a thick Australian accent “Whelp, I’ma chuck a sickie! Be back either this arvo or several years from now probably, maybe, provided no major apocalypses have occurred while we were in the air and Tina Turner doesn’t try to kill me in a cage match. Seems unlikely, touch wood. You seven year old little rippers are in charge till myself or Mel Gibson shows up. That’ll be the day. Good on ya! Try and find an oasis of some sort, eh? No worries. Bonzer!”

Long story short, they end up back in Bartertown to rescue an elderly dwarf being tortured by Tina Turner because he no longer has his Down syndrome behemoth to protect him. Now THERE’S a sentence you don’t get to write every day!

Thus we get our chase scene FINALLY!

Yeah. Bizarre movie. But it has a chase scene so I’m good with it.