Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

A Non-review plus a hefty chunk of autobiography by Professor Popinjay

(1974-1986)

[Note: It’s come to my attention from those who read this blog via emails, the “featured image” is not included in the e-mail. For this reason I shall attach the featured image (usually just the movie poster or box art) at the bottom of all posts in addition to the top so everyone can easily see it. I apologize if this creates a redundancy for some.]

For two years I worked as a children’s pastor… oh, sorry, I was a Children’s Ministry Czar. I couldn’t officially be called pastor because I wasn’t licensed. I was working on that though. The kids didn’t care. They all called me “Pasto Cwis” anyway.

The room I was to use as an office was filled to the brim with ancient literature and curriculums dating as far back as the 1950s. None of my predecessors could bring themselves to throw these out apparently. Perhaps they saw these antiquated tomes as sacred. What’s sacred to me however is space and orderliness and not storing a bunch of crap that no one is ever going to look at or think about ever. The church’s dumpster had never been so heavy.

There were also several BARRELS of photographs dating back to when I had been a child involved in Christmas pageants. The deeper I delved, the older the photos got. Amongst these depositories of pictures was also a bevy of film reels, beta tapes, and old vhs. Superbook episodes dating back to 1981, the rather infamous Flying House episodes that were produced after Superbook, and finally these Parables by the Circle Square Gang.

I digitized every video I found, stored them on a hard drive, and burnt them onto dvds. Within minutes Interpol agents busted through every window and slammed my video-copying ass to the ground. Just kidding. No one cared.

For a long time, all I had on TV was stuff I had on hard drives which included these shorts. My kids would drift off to sleep by them. I found them fascinating though.

They’re like biblical versions of School House Rock. They’re super campy with catchy music.

I appreciated how unpreachy these were. It was short stories that just demonstrated how to love people and not be an asshole. There was really nothing offensive about them whatsoever. I recommend them if you can find them. Pretty sure they’re on YouTube if you’re interested.

Optional tangent:

Yeah, I know my whole life has been an optional tangent but someone might be curious about my employment in that field. Most of the kids in these classes I oversaw were present one week and gone the next. I could have teachers focus on one lesson for a month straight and not have a repeat kid.

There was one constant attendee and we were buddies. Sometimes he would be the only kid there, so me and my wife and my kids would just hang out, talk about life, and reorganize the entire costume room or the storage building, or anyplace that was cluttered and disorganized. God, I hated clutter! The kid loved it (hanging out, I mean. He hated clutter as much as I did) and I imparted life lessons to him on the fly in a way no antiquated curriculum could because we were friends. I still know him to this day. He’s awesome.

Another kid would talk to me about Pokemon and Paper Mario and was surprised to find I knew all about that stuff too. He grew up and we hired him at my family’s pizza parlour. He was later quite surprised to learn I also knew about things like the band Primus and how to speak like Scatman John.

As my family was rapidly growing (and several other personal reasons) I decided to resign. I’m glad I just make pizza and write like a caffeine-fueled stenographer now, but that chapter of my life has many fond memories.