Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

A Non-review by Professor Popinjay

(2023)

THIS ARTICLE IS FOR MEN ONLY!!!

…or women if they really really want to.

“Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret” is the story of a girl’s journey to womanhood that will help you be a better man… or whatever you are.

I like to think I’m a sensitive man full of positive masculinity who understands the needs of women in general and not in any arrogant or chauvinistic way. After all, I live with six females (five human, one feline). I bought a larger trash can for our bathroom. It just seemed like the responsible thing to do. And when that can is stuffed to overflowing with all manner of viscera and gore, I respectfully take it out without wretching for the most part. I’m used to the facts of life. Humans lay eggs. It’s just a thing that happens.

Why am I writing about this? Well, if any of this makes you squeamish, take it as a warning because “Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret” is basically a non-metaphor version of Disney’s Turning Red (2024). It’s about periods, and menstruation, and menarche, and tampons, and puberty, and blood, and willing one’s bust size to increase through specific exercises and shrieking mantras.

It’s all presented as a charming tale of an awkward 1970s girl who is coping with moving, fitting in at a new school, adolescence, and deliberations on which religion she wants to adhere to, a conundrum complicated by opposing (and unwelcome) influences from both her maternal and paternal grandparents. It’s actually quite funny and insightful if you can make it through the uh… facts of life parts. Sooooooo glad I didn’t see this in theaters by myself as I am prone to do. Not that I would have selected this film without outside influence.

I liked the conclusion at which Margaret seemed to arrive. Religious dogma just makes people fight. Her relationship with God was between her and God. In her frustration we eventually see Margaret cast off all the burdens put on her by grandparents and friends, even burdens she put on herself. She saw the absurdity of being so consumed by her rite of passage into womanhood (which was going to happen regardless), the absurdity of arguing over this religion or that, and the absurdity of being catty, slanderous, and jealous. In so doing, she was able to mature beyond so many conflicting and petty influencers in her life. She was able to finally see what the right thing to do was: namely, choose to Love people. And her friends followed her. Outstanding.

This is a good story. But you might need to throw any negative masculinity out the window to watch this film comfortably. That’s okay. It will be replaced with positive masculinity. We need more of that, whatever your gender. Also, positive femininity. Shoot. Just some general non-gender-specific positivity would be nice!

I feel like this film did miss the mark a bit at making it feel like it was taking place in the 70s but ultimately, I don’t think that was important. The struggle of figuring out who and what we are to become is universal and timeless. We’re all striving to be one thing or another. Hopefully in that process we learn to Love people like Margaret did.

Poster!