Category: Humor Articles & Answers
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Coffee Coffee the Musical Fruit! (Reposted)
Dear Professor Popinjay,I’m thinking of switching to an all bean diet. Which beans should I eat?Sincerely, Beans McKenzie Dear Ms. McKenzie,——Who doesn’t love beans? No one! That’s who did! Even the kids love to blaze a fatty pot. Replace that pot with a cauldron of beans though and even the…
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Self-Confidence! It’s Not Just for Pushy Jerks Anymore!
By Professor Popinjay It’s been said when we’re alone we’re in bad company. It’s said artists are often their worst critics. Look at the lengths Van Gogh went just to avoid painting ears! We can be pretty hard on ourselves. But that harsh inner monologue doesn’t have to be so…
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Are Women Submarines?
Mark Gleason asks:Professor Popinjay,If a pregnant woman goes swimming, does that make her a human submarine? Great question Mark!—–However, I feel I would be remiss in my duty to you as a fellow man not to warn you of the dangers of comparing women, pregnant or otherwise, to large sea-faring…
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Nice to Meet You, Steve, I’m Depression
By Prof. Popinjay Depression can manifest in the most optimistic of people, even possibly Pat Sajak, and can result in physical symptoms none of which necessarily include sitting around acting like Edgar Alan Poe. As we are unaccustomed to being packed into our domiciles like kipper snacks due to COVID,…
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Why did the chicken cross the road and not a rooster or a frog or something?
Asked by Mike Ellis Dear Mike!If it’s a joke, its not funny. If it’s a riddle, its not perplexing. That means its something we back in the old country like to call anti-humor, which is, of course, the blasphemous antagonist to humor. As the prophesy goes, soon the world will…
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What’s up chicken butt?
Mike Michael Ellis asks: What’s up Chicken butt? Dear My Kellis,So far as I can tell, stinky pink stuff. Butt I shant stop there. Nay. Did you know chickens don’t even have butts? So what was I inspecting so vigorously? Its called a cloaca (KLO-ASA) and apparently, much to a…
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Get in, Loser! We’re Time Traveling.
Chris Carter asks: Is going back in time to defeat your enemies really an effective plan? My dear dear friend Chris,Urgh! Time Travel! Don’t worry. I’ll spare you the details on the space-time continuum or as I call it, the space-time finitum. (Make no mistake. I said “FINITUM”.) But we’ve…
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Alternative to Sleep?
Professor Popinjay, I’m tired of sleeping. Are there any alternatives? Yours truly, Snorts McCaffeine Dear Snorts, You are more than just an ample set of buttocks! You have a mind and a spirit and toenails! You have emotions which vampires drain out of you like an elephant drains a Capri…
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Broga?
By Popinjay Yoga has always been for everyone but particularly in the U.S. its popularity among women is irrefutable. Often regarded as nothing more than simple movements and positions, the fitness benefits afforded by yoga can easily be overlooked by muscle heads who feel grunting and slamming weights is the…
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Did Santa Claus Hang Out with Jesus?
Jack Elmlinger asks: Professor Popinjay, Did Santa Claus hang out with Jesus? It’s not easy to become a Saint. You have to be athletic, keep your grades up, and you have to perform well enough to catch the attention of a football scout from New Orleans. Nicholas did just this…
Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity 