Category: Humor Articles & Answers
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Cake: To Have or not to Have
By Professor Popinjay First published October 5th, 2015 Jesse Orion asks: Why can’t I have my cake and eat it too? Dear Jesse Orion: —–I sit down on Sunday night ready to write. I am tired. But Jesse Orion has sent me a simple question requiring little research or so…
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Are hotdogs Sandwiches? ARE THEY!?!
Billy Wolf asks:Professor Popinjay,Are hotdogs Sandwiches? Dear Billy,The sandwich as we know it was created by the Earl of Sandwich in the year 0023 as far as anybody cares. The wiener was invented in Vienna as a practical joke. Eventually the two concepts were combined at an 1808 baseball game…
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IS FISHER-PRICE EVIL? This humor blogger says… “Have you seen this toy!?!”
The Corn Popper, so called despite it containing no corn nor having any corn popping capabilities, was invented in 1957 by master of parental torture Arthur Holt, who died in April 1996, I assume shortly after he was brained by a parent wielding his thought inhibiting invention as an apt…
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Cookie Monster: Ocular Concerns
Matthew Boyd asks:Professor Popinjay,Does Cookie Monster ever get a headache from the way his eyes jiggle or is there a gyroscope in his brain that compensates for the eye movement? Dear Matt:—–Cookie Monster (or Sid as he is known to his family members) seems to suffer from a hereditary condition…
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Is Scott Bakula actually Count Dracula?
Bill Doll asks:Is Scott Bakula actually Count Dracula? Dear Bill Doll,—–Laws regarding libel and defamation of character prevent me from simply writing “Yes” so let’s delve into this matter together and you may draw your own conclusions. Pray, cross this threshold into knowledge of your own free will and allow…
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Coffee Coffee the Musical Fruit!
Dear Professor Popinjay,I’m thinking of switching to an all bean diet. Which beans should I eat?Sincerely, Beans McKenzie Dear Ms. McKenzie,——Who doesn’t love beans? No one! That’s who did! Even the kids love to blaze a fatty pot. Replace that pot with a cauldron of beans though and even the…
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Resilience: It’s Not Just for Masked Vigilantes Anymore
First published August 28, 2019 in Illumine: Collective Light online magazine By Prof. Popinjay If you have a belly-button, you have problems. I don’t mean your navel is causing problems for you. Problems are an irrefutable part of life whether you have a belly-button or not. Maybe it’s best if…
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Shedding Light on Lightsabers
First published August 30, 2015 Austin Taylor asks:Why Are Light Sabers so uncomfortable to hold? The Ridges and sharp hook make it fairly awkward and it seems bulky… Can you shed some light on this? Dear Darth Taylor,The process of constructing one’s light saber is an important and trying time…
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What Would it Take to Make Interplanetary Life Possible?
First published March 10, 2016 Tony McTuff Terrill asks:What would it take to make interplanetary life possible? Things that have to be calculated are the following but not limited to: Ship types, traveling technology, food storage, roles in society for men and women, life spans of a typical generation, planet…
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Don’t Be Hoarding Asswipes!
First published March 15, 2020 ——Is filling a room in your house with toilet paper a necessary precaution?——-So far disease precautions have included costly detours, closures of schools and major theme parks, cancellations of large social events, and a sales decline in Grupo Modelo’s unfortunately named Corona beer as though…
Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity 