Category: Humor Articles & Answers
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Chronic Hokey-Pokeyitis
First published July 25, 2016 Matt Boyd asks:Should I seek Medical Attention for putting my left leg in and shaking it all about? Dear Matt, happy birthday, now to business,—–If the left leg in question is indeed yours and is fully attached to its original location then we have some…
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Are Sports Safe in 2020
First published Aug 25, 2020 Sports: Is It Safe or Should We Slide Back Home? I love sports. I spend thousands on bean dip and body paint. I… I’m lying. I’m not a sports fan. But I’ll watch Firedragon764 blast through Super Mario Sunshine in a mere 3 and a…
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How Many Licks Does it Take?
Rachel Ruppert asks:How many licks does it take to get to the center of the tootsie pop? Dear Rachie Rollpop,The question has driven scientists mad since 1969. But have they sacrificed their sanity for the right reasons? Obviously there are more beneficial fields of science toward which a scientist may…
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Best Time and Temp for a Perfect Baked Potato
First published March 9, 2022 Murphy Kartoffel asks:Professor PopinjayAT WHAT TEMPERATURE AND FOR HOW LONG SHOULD I BAKE A POTATO? Ah, potatoes! What a grand way to complete a hearty meal! Boil ‘em. Mash ‘em. Stick ‘em in a stew. Or grab a big one and make it a meal…
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How Many Men would Batman Bat if Batman Could Bat Men?
Matt May asks:Professor Popinjay, how many men would Batman bat if Batman could bat men? —–Cripes! Not another woodchuck question! Oh wait. Batman’s not a woodchuck… as far as I know. At least none of my research eluded to any evidence toward such a conclusion. Just to be safe, let’s…
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Alien Dating Service?
First published Jan 22, 2017 Matt Boyd asksAre there any ways that space creatures or aliens meet each other… like, relationship wise? Like a Space Alien Mingle? Dear Matt,—–No. I’m sure many would like to hear me say that there is a vast database of cross-referenced information pertaining to the…
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Chili Propulsion?
First published July 22, 2022 Dear Professor Popinjay,Could a mean bowl of chili ever be used as a powerful form of propulsion? Sincerely,Fretfully Awaiting Reeking Transit Dear FART,——-We’ve all heard the recent meme hailing Taco Bell as the only place one can still get gas for a mere dollar and…
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WARNING! HOTNESS TOO HOT!
WARNING CAUTION ALERT! Extreme heat warning for the area Thursday through Saturday. Temperatures of 90 to 100 degrees Fahrenheit and even hotter Celsius! Heat will be heating during all hours happening within the aforementioned days. All hotness will be permeating the atmosphere with voracious tenacity AND tenacious voracity. That’s degrees…
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Best Carrot Cake Ever!
First published April 8, 2023 For Easter I thought I’d post my favorite carrot cake recipe. Enjoy. This recipe for carrot cake is so good you’ll slap everyone who didn’t tell you about it, even people who had no prior knowledge of it. It’s made out of stuff you can…
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I Do Believe in Bigfoot! I Do! I do!
First published July 8, 2019 Amber Toussaint asks:Professor Popinjay,Do you believe in Bigfoot? Chère Madame Toussaint,——As it is not my usual practice to answer personal questions in this forum I must assume you’re asking if ONE [should] believe in Bigfoot. A just question perhaps. He clearly doesn’t believe in us.…
Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity 