Category: Humor Articles & Answers
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Fuzzy-Wuzzy Was Not a Bear, he was a Hadendoa Warrior
First Published July 3, 2015 Benjamin Schifferdecker asks:Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear but Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. So Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn’t fuzzy was he? Dear Benjerwuzzy Fuzzydecker,Like you, I once perceived this amusing saying as nothing more than a jumble of nonsense words strung together and recited solely to…
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Why Did Yankee Doodle Name His Feather Macaroni?
First published April 30, 2015 Angela asks: Professor Popinjay, Why did Yankee doodle name the feather in his cap macaroni? Dear Angela,As it turns out, this song was invented by the attacking British. It’s archaic colloquialisms imply that the Americans were disorganized and disheveled. The term macaroni was associated with…
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Professor Popinjay’s Beauty Advice
First published June 25, 2020 Curling Your Hair as if it Mattered: Unless you’re some kind of stupid moron, you spend huge amounts of time curling your hair. Curled hair is sported by all the great celebrities to whom we pay unceasing insurmountable tribute by the boat full! Patrick Stewart,…
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Shakespearized Movies
First published April 8, 2016 YOU SUGGESTED THE MOVIE TITLES AND LINES, I Shakespearized them! Here we go! Die Hard: Shakespearean Title: Thou Shalt Not with Ease Make Worm’s Meat of Me. “I do theft with proficiency, and, yea, have now undertaken prisoners, so, were I thee, I would hold…
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If Animals Could Talk, Which Would Be the Rudest?
First published Sept 4, 2017 Matthew Boyd asks:Professor Popinjay,If animals could talk, which would be the rudest? Dear Matt,——-Easy answer: If animals could talk, the rudest would still be humans. But I’ll assume you mean to exclude humans from that assessment because we are after all superior to the lower…
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I WANT SOME CHEESE WITH MY WHIIIIIIINE
First published June 21, 2018 —–As most children know, whining is the best way to get what you want with gusto! From candy to back flips, the slightest whiny sound from a child will make most parents hop to and deliver! Are there really better ways to communicate? Certainly, but…
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Is It Wrong to be Strong?
Dalton England asks:Professor Popinjay,Is it wrong to be strong? Dear Englander,The word strength is an interesting one. Officially it’s definition is very slim. No, literally, its definition is very slim. The word stems from the Old German ‘stregida’ meaning slim and strong. The word ‘string’ actually takes its name from…
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Waffellow, Gentleman Stealer of Waffles
First published May 25, 2016 —–You may not know this, but I lead a double life. Well, I guess it would be a tripple life. Of course I have my “secret” identity to protect my friends and loved things should one of Popinjay’s nemeses decide to get into my hot…
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Small Window Through Which You Dine (The)
First published Aug 14 , 2020 Dear Professor Popinjay, What is Intermittent Fasting? Dear Fast Person, [Professor Popinjay is neither a doctor nor has he played one on TV. He claims he’s SEEN a doctor on TV but insists the guys in striped shirts who blow whistles at sporting events…
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Why are Hot Dogs called Hot Dogs?
First published January 5, 2019 Brian Pavey asks:Professor Popinjay,Why are hot dogs called hot dogs? Dear Brian,—–The origin of sausage dates as far back as ancient Sumeria when one day an ancient Sumerian (Tim), tired of chasing and chewing on pigs for sustenance, decided to make life easier for us…
Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity 