Category: Lists
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10 Symptoms of Playing Too Much Castlevania
A list by Professor Popinjay 10: You destroy every lamp and candle you see. 9: You don’t do construction projects because you think switching from one tool to another is fiddly and inconvenient. 8: You break holes in walls looking for fresh hot turkeys. 7: You keep re-entering the room,…
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DO’s and DO-NOT-DO’s of LANDING the SUMMER JOB!
By Professor Popinjay Ah, summer! For many it means a break. No more pencils. No more books. No more teacher’s rusty hooks. I can’t remember how the rhyme goes. It’s not important. Summer means playtime. That’s all there is to it. And yet for others summer is not breaktime. Nor…
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Ten Things They Could Stuff into the Crust of Stuffed Crust Pizza that Might Actually Interest Me:
By Professor Popinjay Everyone, without exception, loves stuffed crust pizza. They love that ring of extra cheese. Why wouldn’t they? It’s basically just more pizza. Dip it in pizza sauce and you’re back to square one. Roll the whole pie into a ball and eat it in one bite and…
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10 MUCH MORE INTERESTING FLOATS THE PROFESSOR WOULD PREFER TO SEE IN THE MACY’S THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE:
10: The Norse Axe Tossers and Their Frightened Woodland Pals. 9: The Chicago Belching Choir. 8: A massive balloon in the likeness of Kim Kardashian that they continue to inflate throughout the duration of the parade until the inevitable occurs. 7: Krampus 6: Marylin Manson playing his Christmas Album. 5:…
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10 Signs You’ve Been Playing Grand Theft Auto Too Much
By Professor Popinjay 10: You see through the windows of a business and your first thought is “Hey, that place is fully rendered! I can explore it!” 9: When a person asks for spare change you generously respond by tossing money ten feet behind yourself. 8: You refuse to walk…
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10 FUN ST. PATRICK’S DAY ACTIVITIES (…that might get you bludgeoned with a shillelagh!)
By Professor Popinjay 10.) Pinch people you’ve decided are wearing the wrong shade of green. 9.) Insist leprechauns live in leper colonies. 8.) Go into an Irish pub and refer to Guinness Stout as “beer”. 7.) Go back into that same pub and announce, “Manchester United is the greatest soccer…
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10 Things Women Can’t Live Without…in Bed (Part 2)
By Professor Popinjay First published Feb 22, 2018 5: If she has a bad dream, she needs you to go outside and make sure that bump she “heard” was nothing more than that darn wolverine rooting around under the house again. There was no bump. You and I know darn…
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10 Things Women Can’t Live Without…in Bed (Part 1)
By Professor Popinjay First published Feb 20, 2018 10: Blankets. Like twenty of them. No matter the weather. If she ain’t a human enchilada wrapped in enough blanket weight to squeeze a false confession out of someone against their will, she ain’t happy. They’re just hers too. You wanna blanket?…
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10 SEXY THINGS TO DO ON VALENTINE’S DAY!!!
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TEN CHEESES YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OF FOR GOOD REASON… BECAUSE I JUST MADE THEM UP:
By Popinjay, Inspired by Flavio Hinojosa 10: Frumunda Cheese. Don’t ask who made this cheese… or where it came from under. 09: Mansion Cheese. It’s like cottage cheese but you can’t afford it. 08: Swiss Bank Account Cheese. Eat this cheese at your own risk. The IRS sees all. 07:…
Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity 