Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

A Non-Review by Prof. Popinjay

A western 50 Shades of Grey? Nope! It’s just McLintock Exclamation Point! This movie was just a vehicle for satisfying John Wayne’s recurring urge to spank Maureen O’Hara. C’mon, John! I understand Maureen needs it more than most but why on screen? Or is that all part of it for you? I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that the spanking scenes weren’t even in the script. Stage hands were probably like “Mr. Wayne’s at it again! What’ll we do!?!” And the director is like “Leave him alone! It’s part of his contract! He gets to spank all his co-stars mid-scene!” John Wayne’s son even got in on the action in this film! I bet Wayne was like “Well now pardner it’s high time you took on the family tradition of spanking women in front of millions a’ people so grab yerself a buxom lass and giver a good couple a whacks.” Seriously, is there a movie where John Wayne didn’t spank someone? He’s a madman! He can’t be stopped! He’s probably in heaven right now slapping angels on the buttocks. I could go for hours about this! Anyway, as far as John Wayne S&M films go this one was good but not great. Reminded me too much of my first marriage.