Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

A Non-Review by Professor Popinjay 

(2000)

I miss the times when a movie would come out and you wouldn’t have to watch 27 other films prior just to understand what’s going on. Would this be a one off or would it generate enough revenue to merit a sequel? Even the filmmakers didn’t know! Nowadays if they get one wrong they just make six more until they get it right.

This is a nice concise little trilogy that has a definite beginning and a definite end. There are no other X-Men movies beyond these three.

“But Professor!” I hear you say. “There’s several m…”

THERE ARE NO OTHER X-MEN MOVIES BESIDES THESE THREE!!!

Okay, I know there are more and I know they eventually incorporate aspects from these three but there was a time when this was it. It was a simpler time after the milk man but before Wal-mart made deliveries. I’d like to just focus on these three films before everything became about Wolverine.

So the first film starts with Wolverine… just kidding.

It was exciting to have a superhero movie come out that wasn’t Batman or Super-man or Meteor Man. X-men was such a unique storyline too. I can’t see it mixing with the regular MCU. I don’t want to see it mix with the MCU. Regular humans basically don’t like superheroes (mutants) in these stories. I don’t know how the beloved friendly neighborhood spider-man can coexist in the same universe with the hated mutants. I think it’s okay for these films to exist in their own separate universe. We have two different Quicksilvers and I like it fine that way.

But you know they’re gonna mix all this up eventually. They got awful close in Wandavision and Dr. Strange and the Multiverse of Madness. They might have even jumped in headlong in The Marvels.

X-Men (2000) introduced A LOT of characters real fast. That’s one plus side to taking it slow like the MCU did. Everyone got their own movie. Sometimes other heroes would get a lite intro in one film and then they’d get their own movie or show. The progression of character development was steady and not overwhelming, then we had Avengers films free of origins. But do I care that much about Ororo Munroe’s backstory? Could Scott Summer’s origins be that interesting? They (gnomes) planned on making origin films but that petered out fast after X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

I feel like the first X-Men film did alright with a bunch of characters. They focused on the plot and the characters fell into place. We got to know them through their circumstances and reactions. That’s good storytelling if you ask me.

They did Sabertooth dirty though, in my opinion, making him a bit of a dumb henchmen. Tyler Mane (Halloween) probably doesn’t have the acting chops to be much more than eye candy. That’s purely conjecture on my part. Please don’t chase me at a snail’s pace while wearing a lifeless half-melted William Shatner mask! I thought you were great in Joe Dirt.

Ian McKellen was fantastic as Eric Lencher. I loved the notion of these older actors playing these pivotal roles in superhero films. He and Patrick Stewart really sold these characters. McKellen knew Magneto better than Bryan Singer even did. I remember Ian talking about the minutia of Magneto’s costume and Singer was clueless. McKellen is a straight-up professional. Well he’s not straight. I mean he’s very good at his job!

I wasn’t overly thrilled with an extremely young Rogue played by Anna Paquin. The “Southern” accent was terrible for one thing and was only present for her first couple of lines. I guess it made sense for the story but I frankly would have liked to see an adult Rogue with her awesome costume instead of whatever Panquin was wearing. Maybe, it’s because I’m in Oregon. Go ducks!

What WAS Anna Paquin wearing anyway? I get realism and all but I like a bit of comic bookiness in my superhero movies. I use these as a form of escapism after all.

It was interesting seeing Ray Park (Darth Maul) not covered in red and black makeup. Instead he was in blotchy green makeup as Toad.

The film wasn’t mind blowing and had some pretty cheesy lines (“Know what happens to a toad when it’s struck by lightning?”) but it was a good start.

A note on the music: Music for X-Men was done by Michael Kamen. The cd cover art parodies the X-Men title with his name spelled Michael K-Men. He’s a funny guy, that Mike.