Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

A Non-Review by Professor Popinjay

(1998)

I still have and use an AOL email address. Don’t worry, I’m not paying for it still. Whenever someone notices my very old email address that I’ve used since middle school, they are always amazed. I jokingly tell them I’m still using free minutes from all those cd-roms America On-Line sent in the mail. They always believe me and they don’t think it’s a joke.

My dad used to hang AOL cds from the magnolia during Christmas. Used to be you couldn’t step out your front door without slipping on AOL cds. Sanitation workers were shoveling them by the baleful down the street like snow after a Colorado blizzard. You’d pour a bowl of cereal for yourself in the morning and there’d be more AOL cds than actual Fruity Pebbles. I imagine there’s a deposit of AOL cds in some landfill what’s causing global warming with the reflective surfaces and melting plastic. I always knew AOL would destroy the planet. Perhaps this was their plan all along.

“You’ve Got Mail!” The exciting exclamation AOL users knew so well. Back then it was exciting to get an almost immediate response from a friend or relative once they figured out how to use email. Nowadays those emails are 99.9% junk and the ones that do come from your grama are forwarded cat gifs with a long-winded way of saying “I love you” typed in fluorescent green on a neon pink background. Love you too Gram Gram. Please stop forwarding this crap to me.

When it came to modernizing the film “The Shop Around the Corner” in 1998, centering the story around emails instead of handwritten letters was the way to go. 27 years later this has aged about as well as the original. But hey, it’s Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan continuing their roles from “Joe vs. The Volcano” and “Sleepless in Seattle”. At least I’m fairly sure those films are all part of the same continuity. There’s a Volcano up by Seattle. It makes total sense! They eventually make their way to New York, right? But then they start hating each other in person but falling in love through anonymous emails. It’s Serendipity (2001) all over again!

I found it fascinating that the one kid was Tom’s aunt or something like that. I actually became an uncle when I turned four. My nephew was born on my exact fourth birthday. We grew up together and everyone thought he was my cousin. We had a great time explaining to all the other kids how I was an uncle. Most never believed us and thought we were joking. Seems to be a recurring theme in this article. Oddly enough my oldest daughter was born a day after my sister, mother to my nephew. Now I’m my own grandpa.

It’s a cute film. It wouldn’t be my “go-to” film when I need to curl up and cry in a blanket with a vat of ice cream. That’s what Alien 3 is for.