Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

A Non-review by Professor Popinjay

The Greates Showman (2017)

The Mighty Barnum (1934)

My impaired eyesight led me to believe I was seeing a film about a really cool snowman. Imagine my disappointment once this film rolled the credits without showing a single snowman.

Turns out this was the strangest installment of the Wolverine franchise I have yet seen. Not once did he even unfurl his claws. What gives!?!

Okay, so this is a musical about Phineas Taylor Barnum, a predecessor of Professor Xavier, who, instead of creating a safe haven for mutants, created a circus starring people with physical abnormalities… and Zendaya, just to even things out?

I remember the songs being great and inspiring. And I remember Zendaya being swung around on a rope. That looked like fun. I wish I was Zendaya! Gets to swing on a rope. I want to swing on a rope.

That’s about all I can remember. I don’t remember anything bad about it really.

There’ve been other less musical films about P.T. Barnum. I recall a horrendously colorized 1934 film titled The Mighty Barnum. It was a good film. Kept my attention even as a kid. It didn’t have Zendaya. It did have Wallace Beery as Barnum and, even more interesting, Olive and George Brasno. These were extremely small siblings who, while spending more time traveling with a Vaudeville act, did appear in a small number of films. Obviously George played “General” Tom Thumb. Leave it to someone like P.T. Barnum sensationalize a little person by also making him a General. I suppose there’s no real reason he couldn’t be a General. Look at Yoda. Judge him by his size, do you?

I don’t remember any racial insensitivity but it was a very long time ago I saw this film. I recommend it on account of the sheer magnitude of classic actors who perform in this. The songs in the Hugh Jackman musical drive the deeper message home a bit better though.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go find someone to swing me around on a rope. Doesn’t HAVE to be Zach Efron but he will be the first person I ask. After that, Ashley Tisdale, because of her mustache… that was supposed to say “because of her muscular arms” but autocorrect changed it to “mustache” and I’m too lazy to backspace. I didn’t become a writer to delete words.

“Keep moving forward”

-Walt Disney… and kangaroos.