Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

A Non-review by Professor Popinjay

(1996)

I wrote about how this influenced me back in the 90’s. Guh, that’s ambiguous. It did influence me back in the 90’s but I did not write about it back in the 90’s. I wrote about this film’s influence on me when I was writing about Baz Luhrmann tropes in the Non-review for Strictly Ballroom (1992).

Far be it from me to repeat myself. So what to focus on? I’m always thwarted by countless articles and YouTubers who would analyze a film to death and its performances. I certainly don’t want to analyze the play Romeo and Juliet. There’s a whole analysis on the opposite page of the book for that. Why don’t Shakey Bill just talk American? Can’t hardly understand what nobody is sayin’ in that thar play of his. What in tar-hooties does betwixt mean anywho?

I watched this film in high school. Lots of people were wearing white tanks with open flowered Hawaiian shirts. Or it might have been just me. Pretty sure I was the only one who started writing sonnets. Anyway, as I’ve said before, far be it from me to repeat myself.

Baz Luhrmann is such an interesting director. The way he creates this surreal nonexistent world, this fantasy Verona; it’s like watching the video version of a collage that fits together so perfectly and is aesthetically pleasing even though it’s composed of many different things. And yet the action taking place in this world is sometimes like a fever dream. It gets the ol’ heart rate up and is kind of over stimulating but in a good way.

The music choices were fascinating too. A Carmina Burana type Latin oratorio switches to an Enio Moriconé-style spaghetti western theme. Crazy! And exactly what I would expect from Baz. It’s epic. And to think the “O Verona” track was actually composed for this film and not simply stolen from some other ancient production as is often the case when you hear Latin opera in a film; that’s very impressive.

Paul Rudd was such a dork in this. That’s great because that exactly what he was supposed to be as Paris. I think of Paul as a pretty cool and funny guy now. I had no idea who he was back when I first saw this. I might have thought “Hey that’s the guy from the Super Nintendo commercial!” but back then no one had logged that commercial into their long term memory well enough to recall a random guy who hadn’t become ultra famous yet.

I remember my mind being blown when I learned John Leguizamo (Tybalt) also played Luigi in the 1993 Super Mario Bros. movie. Then he played the Violator clown in Spawn (1997) and Henri Marie Raymond de Toulouse-Lautrec-Monfa in Moulin Rouge (2001).

Leguizamo refused to have any part of the 2023 Super Mario Bros. Movie because he claimed they were de-Latino-ifying the film. Yet both the Violator and Toulouse could have and probably should have been played by actual little people. Here he is now playing Tybalt Capulet, an Italian. I totally get John’s sentiment but it seems like what he is and isn’t willing to do is more based on his mood at the time of being asked rather than any actual convictions. He’s always fun to watch though and he did amazing as Tybalt. Man, he was super cool as Tybalt!

I never really cared for the Romeo & Juliet story. It’s a tragedy obviously so it doesn’t end well. Oh yeah, spoiler alert! I don’t know if it goes so far into this detail at the end of this version but it’s implied in the play that Romeo & Juliet’s love and sacrifice for each other leads to the end of their families’ quarreling. It’s just sad all around but something good comes of it, I suppose.

It’s partly why I liked these other versions like Gnomeo and Juliet or Warm Bodies. As for the original, it’s kind of a tragedy even if they don’t die at the end. Sure one can argue that the characters’ immediate infatuation with each other is a beautiful thing but that kind of love is only skin deep. Love is meant to grow into something more profound and flourish beyond oneself. Romeo and Juliet are just like “Duhhhhh, You is purdy!” Let’s see how much they appreciate each other after real life sets in… oh, they never get that far.

I wonder, would Juliet still be so enthralled with Romeo when he has a spare tire around his waist and he can only work 1 day a week as a Suonatore di Organetto because he’s on disibilità? Will he still like her after she’s had her 8,736th bowl of lasagna and is constantly nagging him to patch the cupola or when he finds out the only thing she knows how to cook is burnt gelato? Love is more than funny feelings and making googly eyes at each other. 

Love grows upon mourning our former life

When released are treasures once held dear.

To see true beauty of groom or wife

Set self aside that sight may clear.

When before themselves they see the other

Only then are they both loved and lover.

Ha! How’s THAT for a sonnet, Billy boy!?! YEEEEE-HAAAAW!!!!