Category: Non-Reviews
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Five Nights at Freddy’s 2
A Non-review by Professor Popinjay (2025) This article shall be SPOILER FREE mainly because I never knew what the hell was going on anyway. The plot wasn’t hard to follow so long as you knew this is a sequel and that’s not hard to surmise thanks to the giant steaming…
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Napoleon Dynamite
A Non-review by Professor Popinjay (2004) I saw Peluca (2003) before I had ever heard of Napoleon Dynamite. Imagine my confusion when I would see a whole cubic display at Walmart consisting of nothing but copies of Napoleon Dynamite with the character “Seth” on the boxart. Upon inspecting the DVD…
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Call Me Madam
A Non-Review by Professor Popinjay (1953) My wife brought this home from the library. Yes, physical media still exists. Yes, libraries still exist. Yes, I’m married. The first connection my brain made with this title was to a meme of a very masculine trans woman angrily insisting she is to…
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Mad Max Trilogy (1979-1985)
A Non-review by Professor Popinjay Three movies shall enter this article, none shall leave: Mad Max (1979) Mad Max: The Road Warrior (1981) Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdone (1985) If you’re a super fan of these films you may want to step outside. I’ll tell you now, while I thought Road Warrior…
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Lara Croft Films
A Non-Review by Professor Popinjay Exhuming the following films: Tomb Raider (2018) Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001) Lara Croft: The Cradle of Life (2003) Doctor Strange (2016) was the first movie I went to see by myself. It was Thanksgiving Day, my kids were with their mom (that was allowed…
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Kazaam
A Non-review by Professor Popinjay (1996) I know the word “Fun!” on the poster art is an actual cited quote but the presence of the quotation marks makes it look like it’s implying this film is a facsimile of “fun” or something that could technically be considered a type of…
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Murder by Death
A Non-review by Professor Popinjay (1976) I’d say this film has aged like a tuna sandwich but that would imply there was a time it was actually good. I’m sad this had such a great premise. Having a bunch of caricatures of famous fictional detectives all brought together on purpose…
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Haunted Mansions… all of them thus far?
A Non-review by Professor Popinjay The following films are nailed into this article: The first haunted house attraction I’d ever been through was in the Enchanted Forest theme park just outside Salem, Oregon. My dad carried me because I was scared; a difficult task for him considering how much I…
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100 Funniest Moments of the 20th Century
A Non-review by Professor Popinjay I do enjoy a good documentary, especially when someone actually put some effort into it and didn’t just slap some ancient found-footage owned by no one together for a quick buck; or stick two crappy documentaries together to make a single somewhat attractive mega-crappy documentary.…
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Predators, and Predators, and Predators! Oh my!
A non-review by Professor Popinjay This Non-review encapsulates the following films: If you’re under the age of 20, you probably won’t even believe me when I tell you there was a time when R rated movies, while not specifically marketed to kids, definitely had a bevy of merchandise and video…
Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity 