Professor Popinjay's Compendium of Perspicacity

A Non-review by Professor Popinjay

(1953)

My wife couldn’t believe I’d never seen this film. I couldn’t believe I was going to watch it.

I’m kidding of course. Roman Holiday is a classic and the fact that I missed it truly is a travesty that needed rectified. Plus, sometimes you just have to snuggle up in bed with your spouse and watch a romantic movie. Who knows? It could very well lead to even more enjoyable activities often shared between two amorous people were it not for their omnipresent, equally reciprocating feline.

I use “reciprocating” here in the sense that the cat is in a constant state of motion as she moves to and fro through her new cat door which communicates to our boudoir. She is a veritable piston, entering and exiting at such a rapid rate, I could hook electromagnets to her and the door and she could power the house.

Incidentally, our cat, Arwen, shares many similarities with Audrey Hepburn’s character from this film. Arwen is also a princess who sometimes becomes bored with her stately duties (looking cute and napping) and seeks to escape the confines of her palace to experience the quaint life of the bourgeoisie.

Also similarly, the last time Arwen got out, she was met by a rather dapper male cat, who, I imagine, once realizing her royal origins, schemed to seduce her into spending the day with him and his photographer friend so as to eventually write a sultry exposé about her, simultaneously winning a bet and getting him out of hot water with his boss.

Such was the premise of Roman Holiday with Gregory Peck playing the part of the dapper male cat. This is where the comparisons end however as it would have made for a far less Romantic film had Audrey Hepburn scurried under the house and remained there for the duration of the night while the King and Queen tried to coax her out with brooms and kitty treats.

Arwen did eventually sit with us and watch the film once actor Albert Eddie showed up. Of course most people over the age of 140 will recall Eddie as Oliver Douglass from the show Green Acres (1965). Mr. Eddie plays the lovable and kind-hearted photographer friend of Peck’s character. Of course Arwen has loved Green Acres ever since she heard Eva Gabor as the voice of Duchess in Disney’s The Aristocats (1970). I’m sure she regards Duchess as some kind of role model.

My interest in this film was particularly piqued by its influence on a Godzilla film. Roman Holliday was wildly popular in Japan and the Godzilla film titled “Gidorah, the Three-Headed Monster” (1965) patterned its ending after the ending of Roman Holiday. I shan’t spoil either though.

Personally, I felt Roman Holiday could have used a kaiju or two but, regardless, it’s still a cute film. It was devoid of the cookie-cutter Hallmark romance tropes and really boiled down to a very moral story the likes of which we do not often see these days. The unexpected, unconventional ending is exactly why this film has stood the test of time.

I highly recommend Roman Holiday, especially if you have a cat who is a princess.

Boxart!